One Good Day

I had such a good day today! While I didn't do one thing I'd intended to do, the things I did do where much needed things.

About 10:15 this morning I went over to my parents house. Dre and I were going to do a little shopping for some new shoes for me. I hate to shop! That is no secret. I like to get in, find what I need, and get out. So, it's always better to take her with me. In addition to finding some great shoes, we some some badly needed tops in smaller sizes than those I currently own :).

After that we went to lunch. Haden charmed everyone in the restaurant. He's getting so big and has such a fun personality. He had people falling all over him.

When we got home, we went on a walk/run. I appreciate that she went slower for me. I wish she lived closer so I could do that more often. It would be nice to have someone to go with.

Then we decided to hit a movie - just the girls. We went to see Twilight. Good thing it was in the dollar theater because I would have been mad if regular priced tickets would have been purchased for such an awful movie. We sat on the front row, yes the very front row, and laughed and mocked and shook our heads in disbelief throughout the whole movie.

While I'm now further behind on homework, still have a lesson to finish up for Sunday, and all that other fun stuff to do that normally gets done on my day off, I really needed today.

Honesty - Part II

I suppose I need to clarify some things about the post I did on Sunday about honesty. First of all, I didn't say everything I should have in that short post. Honesty is not the most important characteristic in a future spouse. There are many things I could list. I was having a casual conversation with a man I didn't know and didn't feel it necessary to give him a complete list. Honesty, I thought, was a safe topic, and the intent of my post was to share my amazement at what he considered to be honest or dishonest.

I know it's unrealistic and impractical to expect perfection. We all make mistakes. I'm especially good at them. Part of the reason we're here is to learn and grow and make it back home. But, is it wrong of me to hope that my future spouse would be honest and upfront with me? And, when he's not, that he apologize and we move on?

All I want is a good man, who tries hard to do the best that he can. When he slips and falls, he gets back up, shakes himself off, and continues down the path. Because that's what I try to do.

I was reading the blog tonight of a couple with whom I attended high school. They found out right before the birth of their last child that she had a brain tumor. She delivered the baby early and they proceeded to see what they could do. Today the got word that nothing was really helping. He spent the day consoling his wife as she made mention of the fact that she didn't think she was ready to die.

I moan and groan about my life all the time. Things are too hard or not fun. Someone hurt my feelings. It's hard to be single. Work is a burden. Life's hard. But really, I have it pretty easy. I'm not in a position where I'm trying to figure out what to do without my spouse, or wondering who will take care of my young family when I'm not there to do it anymore.

I wonder a lot why some people have to go through such hard things and others don't really seem to. I know it's all part of Heavenly Father's plan. It's all part of the process that leads us closer to Him so that we can ultimately make it back. I don't like to watch people I care about go through hard things. I suppose, though, that neither did our Father in Heaven as He watched the suffering of His Son. But He did it. He did it so we'd have a way back home to Him. For His sacrifice, I'm grateful.

Honesty

I was talking to a man last night who asked me what I was looking for in a companion. Without hesitation I told him that he had to be honest - completely honest - with me. He said it sounded like I'd had a little experience with this and he asked for some examples. I gave him some big ones - like seriously dating a guy who failed to mention that he was engaged to someone else, but then I also told him that it makes me crazy when people don't do what they say they will. He questioned whether or not that really had to do with honesty.

Seriously? Are you kidding me? It has everything to do with honesty! I was reading an Orson Scott Card article this afternoon which validated my point. The little things have everything to do with honesty.

The article also made me realize that if he's not doing the things he said he'd do, it's because he really doesn't care. Another important thing to be honest about.

Struggling with Juggling

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. I feel like my plate is pretty full and I've found myself having a hard time juggling everything.

As I mentioned before, I went back to school. My first class is halfway through, which is a good thing, because the topic is not one I enjoy, making it harder to study. Since each class is only 5 weeks, it's pretty intense with a lot of reading and a whole bunch of writing. There is something due nearly every night.

In addition to school, one of my callings in my ward is to teach gospel doctrine. I love it, but it scares me to death every time I have to teach. Because of this, I probably over prepare and spend an incredible amount of time studying each week. The study is great. I've learned so much and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Also, last night the Bishop's wife called and asked if I would be on the enrichment committee for March. I think I actually hesitated, which I don't recall ever doing before, as everything I have going on raced through my mind. I told her, though, that I would be happy to do whatever she needed me to do.

Work is always there, adding to my balancing act, as well as a better attempt at a social life (it's true that I actually had a date last week). I've found myself spending time with great people and really enjoying myself. It's good, really good, but puts one more thing on my plate.

I'm not complaining. Really. I asked for more to do. More to consume my suddenly open schedule. I'm sure in a week or so, things will settle down. Actually, I'm kind of hoping they don't. It's good to be busy!

What a Difference a Year Makes

About a year ago I consciously decided that I needed to make a change. I think I've struggled with my weight in one form or another most of my life. Those who've never had that struggle, don't get it and see it as a quick and easy fix. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "all you have to do is..."

The fact is, eating was an emotional thing for me. Still is actually. It was my way to deal with stress, loneliness, and quite honestly any other emotion I happened to be feeling.

I tried countless fad diets. Some worked for a while, but never for long. I had convinced myself that I couldn't loose weight.

Now, I have learned how to make better choices, look forward to daily exercise, and I can't wait for the weather to warm up so I can start hiking, walking, and maybe even running outside. I don't deprive myself of anything, just ask the girls at The Pantry.

I'm happier, healthier, have more energy, and have done things I never thought I'd be able to. I've lost 75 pounds so far. Still have a ways to go, but it will happen. I'm looking forward to making it happen.

How Can I Keep From Singing

Some of you may know that this year didn't start out too great for me. Some unexpected things happened, things I wasn't ready for, and my initial reaction was less than positive.

Fortunately for me, and any with whom I've come in contact, that reaction didn't last long. I have experienced a broad range of emotion, but undeniably, it's the peace and absolute happiness that has been all consuming the last few weeks.

While there have been rough days, angry moments, and too many tears shed to count, I have come out of it all a better person. I have been reminded on countless occasions that He who knows all is very much aware of me. I have had opportunity to ponder and study about things that have increased my understanding. My life has been filled with people and opportunities this last little while that have increased my happiness and strengthened me. For this I am grateful.

There is a song that I love that describes how I feel. We love to sing it as a family, which provides added strength to that which already comes from the lyrics. It's a traditional 19th century song and it's unknown who wrote it. But the words are powerful.

My life flows on in endless song; above earth's lamentation
I hear the sweet, though far off hymn that hails a new creation.

What though my joys and comforts die? My Savior Jesus liveth!
What though the darkness gather round? Songs in the night he giveth!

No storm can shake my inmost calm while to my hope I'm clinging.
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing?

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, a fountain ever springing!
All things are mine since I am his. How can I keep from singing?

Through all the tumult and the strife I hear the music ringing;
It finds and echo in my soul. How can I keep from singing?

I've found myself unable to keep from singing as the blessings of my life have become so much more apparent than the grief. For that, too, I am grateful!

School

A couple of weeks ago I decided it would be a good idea to go back to school and finish my degree. At this point I have so many credits - about 90 I think. However, I have taken no generals.

When I attended the U right out of high school, I was majoring in music. The program was designed so that it was just about impossible to take anything but music classes the first two years. I think it was designed to weed out those who weren't serious.

After my mission, I took a couple of Spanish classes before we moved to Utah County. Since then I've taken business classes, a bunch of them, but never any generals. I'd have a degree in business and music if only...

Anyway, I finally decided it was time to finish. I found myself in a position where I suddenly had more free time than I knew what to do with. School seemed like a good thing to fill that time.

The classes are online. I only take one at a time and each class is 5 weeks. For me this translates to "I can do anything for only 5 weeks. Even Biology!"

I'll admit to being a little nervous. But I'm also excited for a new adventure.