A Confession

Yesterday, I did something I've never done before - never. I watched 8 hours of college football, and I liked it. Well, most of it. (Before I continue, you must know that I didn't just sit in front of the TV for 8 hours. I folded laundry and other productive things that could be done while sitting in one spot.)

I grew up watching BYU football. There are entries in my journal when I was 7 and 8 where score of the games are recorded as well as the names and numbers of those who scored. I loved (still do) BYU football! However, it always boggled my mind that people could sit and watch a game of any sport when they didn't care who won.

Well, the last couple of weeks, I've discovered a couple of things about myself. First, I can watch a game, apparently several in a row, as long as I have a team to cheer for. I do have to have some coaching when it comes to choosing a team, and sometimes I'm laughed at when I ask the question ,"Which team do I want to win?", but I've learned that a good rule of thumb is to cheer for which ever team will help BYU to move up in the polls. Second, and this I already knew, I only like watching a team get killed if BYU is the one doing the killing. I much prefer a close game. I get bored and find myself flipping between several games at once.

I will admit that by 9:00 last night, I was somewhat dumbfounded at what I had done and had a bit of a headache. This is not a way that I will spend every Saturday, but it was fun. And who's to say that it won't happen again...

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

Today after work I took a drive up Provo Canyon. I needed to think as much as I needed some peace and this seemed like the place for it.

I have always loved the mountains. For some reason, there I feel a greater sense of Heavenly Father's love - almost as if the beauty was created just for me. The nature of an all powerful Father seems very apparent in the creation of such majesty, while at the same time, his gentleness is transparent.

(By the way, I realize these pictures are poor attempts to capture the changing leaves. They were taken with my cell phone out the window while driving. There might come a day when I remember my camera...)

On Tuesdays and Thursdays this month, my nephew, Haden, and I have been hanging out. He lives right across from the BYU football stadium, and since I watch him at his house, we spend part of our day walking past the stadium and up behind the Provo Temple.

Today as we were walking up the hill, I noticed the leaves on the mountain are changing. I love this time of year. If I had my way, Fall would last for six months and Spring the other six.

I love wearing sweaters, sleeping with my windows open, the sound of crunching leaves, and taking drives in the mountains. I like not having to run the air conditioner or heater in the house and not having to water the lawn.

I'm pretty blessed to live in such a beautiful place. You should see the view of the mountains from my back yard!

"Don't be afraid. It's going to be alright."

Today, like some of you, I attended a conference for all of the stakes in Utah and Wasatch Counties. President Uchtdorf's talk was amazing. As he spoke I felt the need to be personally better and to take an accurate inventory of my life and where I'm headed.

I seem to be doing this a lot lately. For the last few weeks I've taken to walking up to the temple in the evenings. The walk takes me about an hour and I wonder every time if I'll make it up the hill, but I do, and the time I've been able to spend with just my thoughts has been good for me.

My thoughts as I walk are filled with those I'm close to who might be going through difficult times, wishing always that I could make things better. Also while walking, I think way too much about work, sometimes trying to convince myself that I can indeed do it for one more day. But mostly, my thoughts turn to an evaluation of life, wondering how I got to this point, if it's where I need to be, and if I will have the courage to take the next step.

I wish I could say that these walks have helped me to figure everything out. If anything, I have more to think about. But something President Packer said today at the end of his address was exactly for me. "Don't be afraid. It's going to be alright."