Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012 - A Year of Enjoyment

I can hardly believe it's January 1st, 2012. I can't even remember the last time I was actually awake to ring in the New Year, but tonight I find myself sitting in the living room, lit only by the Christmas tree, wondering.

I've had most of this week off and have done a whole lot of thinking. While I had plenty of lazy time, I spent a lot of time at the temple. One of the days I was there, I read a scripture. I've been thinking about it a lot ever since. The scripture is found in 2 Nephi 9:14. There is one line that says, "the righteous shall have a perfect knowledge of their enjoyment". This caused me to think about a comment from President Hinckley that "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured".

2011 was a year of enduring. While I suppose it would be easy to blame that on some individuals and even some circumstances, the truth is, it was all my own doing. I made it that way. My sister asked me at some point during the summer what, besides spending time with my family, really made me happy, what were things I did that made me laugh, and how often did I do those things. Even thinking about that conversation brings tears to my eyes because I didn't know how to answer her.

So, this week, one of the many things I've been thinking about is who I am. Now, I know who I am. I know that I have a Father in Heaven who absolutely loves me and I know that I am His daughter and have potential to one day become like He is. I also know that I am part of an incredible family who supports and loves me in spite of me. But, if someone were to ask me what my favorite book or movie is, or what music I enjoy or artist I love, I don't know the answers to those things. I love books and movies and I certainly love music, so these should be easy answers, but I don't know. What about my favorite food? Is answering "something I don't have to cook" even an answer?

Tonight, I sit here by the light of the Christmas tree, wondering and determined that 2012 will be a year of enjoyment as I discover the answers to these questions. This year for 365 days (dare I even commit to that number?) I will discover me and what I like and probably things I don't like. While my New Year's resolution continues to be the same as it is every year, to end this year better than I was at the beginning, I want to do that by enjoying, not just enduring. I want to be able to say in 2012 I discovered things about myself that I didn't know and became better in the process.

1 comment:

Mandy said...

I love reading your blog. It is so uplifting and inspiring. I know you in person, but even if I didn't just reading your blog makes me know you are full of the spirit. I think you're so awesome! I'm sorry 2011 was a hard year for you- I think it was a hard one for a lot of people. We had our trials thats for sure. Always when I look back on things that have happened though I am humbled to see how Heavenly Father was with us all along, even in times where we felt blinded by various things that we didn't notice. I know He is with you too. He is such a loving Heavenly Father. This past year was hard for us, but we had a lot of growth, and sometimes thats the way it happens. I hope this is a great year for you as well, and for us too! President Monson in his new years address on Living the Abundant Life had some great comments that I loved! It was a good thing for me to read to help me want to do better and be more hopeful about the future- you should read it if you havent- its just great! I also love your example of being so faithful in attending the temple- makes me want to aspire to do better in that area as well!