2010

Wow! I survived! I can hardly believe Christmas has come and gone, the holiday shopping season is over, and 2010 is quickly coming to a close.

During this year I experienced things that I hadn't in years as well as a whole bunch of new things, I did a lot of growing up, and I learned a ton. Some of those learning experiences were painful but some were amazingly happy.

I'm thankful for all that happened this year. Honestly. And I can't wait to see what adventures await during 2011.

Day 70 - A Change of Heart

This morning I read Alma 5. I love that chapter. Every time I read it I ask myself those questions and wonder if I'm in a better spot than I was the last time I read it. As I read today I started thinking about my heart.

It's been through a lot this year. It loved someone in a way and more deeply than it ever had before. There were times when that love was overwhelming and it was hard to imagine anything happier.

Then it was broken. There were times when I wondered if my little heart would ever heal. Could it recover? It didn't seem possible.

But it was! The result of experiencing a broken heart has been a changed one.

While going through all of this a dear friend shared this quote with me. Speaking of the Savior, Elder Bruce and Sister Marie Hafen write that "the height of His infinite capacity for joy is the inverse, mirror image of the depth of His capacity to bear our burdens. And as it is with Him, so it can be for us. Our sorrows and sacrifices carve and stretch the caverns of feeling within our own hearts. And as these caverns are enlarged they expand our soul's capacity for joy."

This is what my heart experienced. It was stretched and carved and it hurt while that was happening and at times I didn't think I could bear it. However, those enlarged caverns have indeed made room for more joy and happiness than I have ever experienced before. While I'm sure there is still more carving and stretching ahead, I'm so thankful for the change that took place this year in my little heart.

Day 69 - An Amazing Team!

Tonight I am thankful for the amazing team of people with whom I work. They have helped to make this season so enjoyable and have made for some pretty fantastic days. Everyone is working so hard and getting so excited over the great things that are happening. Thanks so much you guys!!!

Day 68 - The Holiday Season

Since 1996, the year I came home from my mission, I have worked in the mall. Christmas was not fun. I dreaded it. It seemed like the worst in people came out at Christmas, rather than the best, and dealing with the public during that time of year made me less than jolly which I sadly admit made it harder for those around me to experience the true meaning of Christmas.

This year, however, things are different. I'm not working in the mall, which has made things seem less hectic, customers are still a little fussy, but not as much as usual, and I am enjoying the season more than I have in almost 15 years.

My days have been full, especially the last couple of weeks, but not just with work. I've been able to attend concerts, sing with my family, visit good friends, secretly deliver some gifts, attend the temple, participate in our ward Christmas program, and come home at night totally exhausted.

This year feels like what Christmas used to feel like. I am so very thankful for that!

Day 67 - Oh So Much

I have oh so much to share but I am totally exhausted! The last two days have been filled with thankful things. More tomorrow...

Day 66 - Final 15 Hour Day

Tonight I am so thankful that my final 15 hour day of the season (I hope) is over. And actually, it was a pretty good day.

Since one of my full time supervisors is out because of some knee surgery and since it's finals week, we've been pretty short handed. We were running around like crazy tonight, which made the day pass pretty quickly. I also have fantastic people who worked their tails off and will continue to do so for the next 7 shopping days (apparently my math was a little off last night).

Day 65 - Nine More Shopping Days

Tonight I am thankful that there are only 9 more shopping days left until Christmas.

Day 64 - Still and Quiet Time

Tonight I read a conference talk from last October. The talk was by Sister Matsumori and it was on the Spirit. She made a comment that I loved. She said that "if we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us."

This evening I am so thankful for the still and quiet times in my life. I'm thankful for the whispering of sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort that has come to me. I'm grateful for gentle reminders of who I am and that I'm not alone. I know that taking advantage of those still and quiet times are necessary as we work to be better.

Day 63 - Good Friends

Today I got a Christmas card in the mail. As I read the kind words written by two people whom I dearly love, I was filled with so much gratitude for all of the good people in my life. I am surrounded by those who make a difference for good and feel blessed to have so many I consider as friends. Thank you!

Day 62 - Stars

Tonight, after having dinner with my family, I walked outside. It was dark, and since there are very few lights in Mapleton, the stars were amazing!

I love to look at the stars. When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut. I thought it would be cool to be the first woman in space, but someone beat me to it.

Earlier in the year I went to the planetarium at the gateway. We watched the move in 3D about the Hubble Telescope. It was incredible. It reaffirmed what I already knew to be true - that all was created by our loving Father in Heaven.

I'm thankful to know that. I'm thankful that when I look up at the stars I am reminded that He loves me - so much in fact - that He created those stars for me to look up at and remember Him.

Day 61 - A New Mattress

Last night I spent the night in Bountiful at my sister's house. I slept on the couch. I woke up this morning for only the second time all year without pain in my back and hips.

For a while I figured I was just getting old. I would wake up in the morning so sore that I could hardly move. Then in September I was in Lake Tahoe for a conference. I woke up in the morning with no back pain and realized I wasn't getting old. I just have a terrible mattress! However, I really wasn't ready to purchase a new one.

But, waking up this morning, feeling 30, not 80, even after running up and down the stairs several times with Haden on my back, convinced me that it was time to buy a new mattress. So, maybe in the middle of this crazy next few weeks of the holiday, I'll see what I can find.

I'm thankful that sometime in the next little bit I will have a new bed to sleep in.

Day 60 - No Traffic!

Today after work I drove to Bountiful. From American Fork to Bountiful, at 5:00 pm, there was NO traffic! As many times as I have headed north this year, that has never been the case. I made it in 40 minutes - very thankful for that.

Day 59 - Breathing

Sometimes I take breathing for granted. Normally it happens without even having to think about it. But sometimes it doesn't.

I have asthma. Normally it only bothers me during allergy season. However, for the last few weeks, since I've been sick, sometimes it feels like I have constant asthma (which I realize is my own fault since I should probably just break down and go to the doctor).

Tonight I am grateful for the times when I breath without thinking about it and I'm thankful that the times when I don't, there are things available to help me breath.

Day 58 - Happiness

Tonight I am thankful for happiness. I've often wondered if a women without a husband or children can experience a fullness of joy. I'm not sure. But I do know that there are things in my life that bring me absolute happiness. Lately, that list of things has been expanding, a lot!

I'm so grateful for the happiness I feel. I'm grateful to those who, on a daily basis contribute to that happiness, and I'm very grateful to be where I am in my life.

Day 57 - Blessings

Tonight I was driving into work to pick up some things. It had been a good day - a really good day.

While I was driving I started thinking about how blessed I am. It's overwhelming actually.

So tonight I'm thankful for all my blessings - blessings that are too many to list.

Day 56 - Service

One of my favorite parts about Christmas at work is the stockings we hang on the wall in the break room. Each employee, the day after Thanksgiving, is given a person who, in secret, they give a gift to every week until Christmas.

I love watching people give and receive their gifts. Some of them really struggle with what to give their person. This is especially true this year as we've combined two teams together. People, for the most part, have put a lot of thought into it and I've loved watching as people pull their gifts out of their stockings.

So tonight I'm thankful for the joy the secret santa's give to me each day. I'm thankful for the feeling it's brought to our team. We get along better when we're serving each other and we feel more united. It makes work that much more enjoyable.

Day 55 - President Monson

After church today I watched a devotion address by President Monson which was given at BYU in September of 2009. He talked about each of the prophets he had know and what they taught us. The talk was fantastic and incredibly funny.

As I watched I was filled with so much gratitude for this man whom I have grown to love and respect. I know he is a prophet of God and I am so thankful for him.

Day 54 - The End of the Week

Tonight I am thankful to be at the end of this week - not that it wasn't a good week. It was. But I am exhausted! Things are busy at work, but my employees are great and are working so hard. So far, the holiday season is off to a good start. It's nice not having to fight traffic at the mall!

Day 53 - A Haircut

I have not had my haircut since March. Then I had it cut pretty short and I kind of missed my long hair. Since it's grown a lot since then, it's spent most of it's time in a pony tail because it didn't look all that great down. So today I finally had it cut so it looks somewhat better. I'm sure there will still be plenty of pony tails, but maybe not quite as many.

Day 52 - Road Construction

Tonight I am thankful that the 40 minutes it took me to get home from work tonight is eventually going to result in a very nice freeway with more lanes than just the two I had tonight. It will also, once again, result in a 15 minute commute. Eventually. And I am thankful for that.

Day 51 - A New Dress Code

Today I am thankful that I no longer have to wear a white shirt to work! Our dress code changed today and I can wear whatever color shirt I'd like. Yipee!!! I can't wait to toss some of those white shirts that have so desperately needed tossing. Now I just need to do some shopping for some new work clothes.