Finally, a New Post...

Someone reminded me that I haven't posted anything this entire year. It's true. In fact, when I got on today, I'd almost forgotten how to post.

This has been an interesting year for me. Towards the beginning of the year, I met and fell in love with this amazing man. There were countless things that I loved about him and I was confident that the direction we were headed was absolutely the right thing. But, recently, things ended.

This caught me off guard and totally unprepared. I was left with a lot of questions and obvious heartbreak. I have really good days and incredibly hard days - sometimes both at the same time.

That being said, I would do it again, even knowing what the outcome would be. I learned a lot and am a better person having experienced what I did. I'm feeling a little lost but am confident that everything will be okay.

I want nothing but the best for him.

I had some time this morning after finishing up preparation for my lesson today. So, I took a few minutes to read through some posts I had written at the beginning of 2009.

There was a reason for this. I woke up this morning experiencing some of the same feelings of loneliness and rejection that I felt at the beginning of this year, something that almost made me mad. "If 2010 was going to be anything like 2009", I thought, "I don't want to do it!"

Reading through earlier posts made me realize a few things. I've had some hard things happen this year, but I survived. I learned some important lessons, experienced things, both good and bad, that I wasn't anticipating, and had to rely even more on a Father who loves me.

Isn't that why we're here? We go through life, experiencing both good and bad, hopefully learning to rely more heavily on a loving Father, and making the necessary changes so that we can make it back home.

I don't like the hard stuff. I'm not good at it. I grumble and complain. Sometimes I even throw a tantrum. But, hopefully, I emerge better than I was. Hopefully, I grow up. Hopefully, I'm just a little closer to the One whose presence I am wanting to be welcomed into.

Hopefully.

Swimming

A while ago, my sister, Dre, thought it would be fun if Jaime and I joined her in a triathlon sprint next May. So, we bought gym passes and, this week, started our workout. Today was the first day swimming.

In preparation, I, who haven't worn a swimming suit in just about 20 years (not an exaggeration), picked out a swimming suit, we all bought goggles and a swim cap, and Dre visited youtube to get quick instruction on how exactly one swims.

We met at the gym at 6 am. The three of us were dressed in our black suits, very tight swimming caps, and sweet goggles. We were ready!

The pool only has three lanes and two of them were already occupied. So, we tried to talk ourselves out swimming. We even jumped in the hot tub for a few minutes. Then we jumped in the pool - all three of us in one lane.

Dre, aka Michael Phelps, started reenacting what she learned on youtube. I was not a very good student and I think we all thought it would be easier than it was.

We spent the next 30 minutes kicking, swallowing water, entertaining the other two people in the pool, and doing a lot of laughing. We discovered that Jaime can do a mean back stroke, Dre can almost swim as well as Michael Phelps (just a little more practice), and it doesn't matter how hard and fast I kick my feet, sometimes I just won't move.

Can't wait until next time...

Summer of 2009

The other day I was taking a walk up Provo Canyon. I couldn't believe how quickly the leaves were changing and how fall-like it was feeling. Honestly, was summer really over?

While I was walking, I thought about all the different things that happened this summer. I don't remember that I really took a vacation, but I was able to go for a weekend to Fish Lake with my family, something we hadn't done in years. I'd forgotten how much I love it there. I was reminded of great fishing adventures with Grandpa and all of us staying in my grandparents trailer, not to mention the visits to Chappel Cheese in Loa (which, unfortunately, is now closed.)

This summer I was able to get in a few good hikes. I took three of my sister's kids up to the "Y". They were troopers and we had fun hiking up. Audrey was "impressed that we made it clear to the top" and then sorry she'd ever come on the hike as we were headed down. I will admit, up was more fun for me too!

At our store manager's conference I hiked Angel's Landing down in Zion's Park. It was amazing - scary, but amazing. The experience was fantastic. I felt a little pride at knowing that at this point last year I may not have been able to do that hike.

At that same conference I also rode an ATV for the first time. I loved it!!!

The summer was also good because my friend was in town. We saw a few movies, some better than others, spent some time in beautiful areas of Salt Lake that I hadn't seen before, took a drive up to Logan, went to a concert, and had some great walks.

I started P90X this summer. It was hard work for me. Some mornings I got up at 4 am to get the workout finished before I had to be at work. I will admit that there have been a couple of days when it just didn't get done, but overall I have been incredibly consistent. I only have 5 more weeks to go, I haven't lost one pound, but I have gained muscle, lost fat, and feel fantastic.

This was a good summer!!!

One of my favorite things to do is visit places I've never been before. I don't know if I can explain just how much I enjoy it. I feel giddy with excitement, really can't quit smiling and I love taking it all in.

This afternoon was one of those experiences. While I lived in Salt Lake County most of my life, I visited places today that I had never seen before or if I had, I didn't remember.

We started out on a drive through the avenues of Salt Lake. It was so beautiful. I loved the old houses and the big trees that lined the streets.

Then we went to the cemetery in Salt Lake where so many prominent figures in our state's history are buried. It was exciting to go from headstone to headstone. When we saw Willard Richards' my heart was touched and I will admit feeling a little choked up.

As we continued to walk I discovered a whole bunch of Keddington names. I felt like a little kid, going from spot to spot, trying to find the oldest Keddington. I couldn't wait to get home and see if I was related to any of them. It just so happens that John Tipple and Elizabeth Ellis are my great, great, great, great grandparents.

The adventure finished with some more driving though various parts of the city I hadn't been to in ages. I loved all of it. It helped that the person I was with knew so much about the places we saw. That made the experience even more enjoyable.

I hate earwigs! I really believe they are Satan.

I live in an older home and so it has not been unusual to see a few spiders and bugs crawling around. I usually squish them in tissue and flush them down the toilet. However, earwigs are different. They just don't seem to die.

This morning, while taking a shower, I had a brief encounter with a couple of them that has seriously made me reconsider the use of body wash. The experience was not pleasant and they did not live!

New Car - Part Two

Early yesterday morning, after a night of not much sleep, I woke up and remembered I had purchased a new car the night before! While the previous day had been long, hot, and frustrating, there was a cute, silver, Ford Focus parked in my driveway. The adventure had been worth it!

My family had tickets to go to the Oquirrh Temple open house. I decided to meet them all in Mapleton, giving me a chance to drive the new car, and show my family.

We left at noon, right on time, and headed to the temple. About the time we hit the Provo Towne Center my sister said that it looked like my hood was going to pop open. I pulled off to the side of the road, pushed on it, and it seemed fine. We started on our way.

By the time we'd gotten to Center Street in Orem, the hood was jumping up and down. I got off the freeway, popped the hood, and looked inside. The contraption that holds the latch down had come unscrewed. Unfortunately I had tools in my old car, but not in this one. I tightened the screws with my fingers and headed to my house.

Lest anyone think that I was calm during this, you are wrong. I was far from it. I had an experience when I was in college where the hood popped up while I was driving. While it caused minimal damage (we were only going 30 MPH), it was incredibly scary. The idea that this would happen while I was on the freeway with a car full of people was almost panicy to me.

When I got home, I grabbed some tools and tried to tighten the screws. They were in a very precarious spot and I knew I couldn't tighten them all the way. I did my best, called my parents to let them know we were once again on our way, and started off, again.

Rather than going to the temple open house, we (all 8 of us in our church clothes) headed back to the dealership. One of the salesman from the night before recognized me and came right over. He asked if I was back to sign some papers and I told him the situation.

He came out with a wrench and did exactly what I had done. He asked questions like, "Are you sure you didn't accidently pull the hood release while you were dirving down the freeway?", or "Shouldn't you have had your husband tighten it for you?". I wanted to say, "Why yes, I did actually pull the hood release while I was driving 70 MPH down the feeway. I've always wanted to know what would happen if I did that". A friend suggested that my response to the husband comment should have been that I would have had him tighten the screws, but he doesn't have any hands.

By this point, my temper had risen almost to the same level as my anxiety. I somewhat calmly pointed out to the salesman that I had had the car less than 12 hours, it only had 7000 miles on it and already something was wrong. He pointed out that it was still under warranty and told me that if I took it to a Ford dealership they would be happy to fix it.

I told him I didn't want it fixed. I didn't want the car and wanted to know what my options were. He said I would have to speak to the manger and left to go inside. I mistakenly assumed that a manager would be out to speak with me. However, 15 minutes later, he came back out, alone.

He politely told me that his manager was "too busy" and all they could do was fix the car. "Too busy", I asked. "You've got to be kidding me!"

He responded by saying that it was, after all, a Saturday and they were busy with customers. I tried to calmly remind him that I was a customer, one who had spent several hours and plenty of money with them the night before.

My dad and I followed him into the smelly locker room where the very busy managers were sitting on their behinds doing absolutly NOTHING. Imagine how happy this made me. Their actions confirmed that I was of no importance to them. Once again I asked what my options were and was told the same thing - I was out of luck and my only option was to take it somewhere else and have it fixed. They basically washed their hands of me. I was not their problem.

I took the car across the street and had it fixed. Any excitement I'd felt about a new car was gone. I know it's not a big deal to any of them, but I will NEVER purchase another car from the Larry H. Miller Used Car Supermarket or even consider purchasing one from Riverton Chevrolet. Because of this experience, a friend who had planned to purchase a car this week from that same lot will go elsewhere.

Had anyone validated how I was feeling by saying that they understood how frustrating this was for me or that they were sorry this had happened, maybe I would feel differently now. But no one did. Not even once.