Birthdays

This week will be my 38th birthday - one year closer to 40! It's kind of crazy to think about, actually. I don't feel almost 40. When I got my haircut last week the very young stylist asked me how old I was. When I told her she said, "No way! You can't be that old!" This really made me feel good until I went to buy a new computer (mine has been broken for a month) and the twenty something kid helping me pointed to one and said, "My mom really likes this one so you probably will too." Your mom? Really?

I have to admit that about this time every year I start to evaluate my life. I think about the year that has past and wonder about the things that took place. There was actually a point at this time last year where I was confident I would be married by this birthday. Earlier this year it looked like I might even be engaged by my birthday. But.... And while it's easy to think about the fact that I'm 38 (almost) and don't have a husband and children, which is something I will continue to wish for every year, there are a lot of great things that happened from May of 2010 until May of 2011. Let me share just a few of them.

• I graduated from college! It took 20 years, but I finally did it. I cried when I submitted my last assignment. I couldn't believe I was finally finished.



• I fell in love - twice. Well, not exactly twice because it was the same man both times. And actually I had never fallen out of love with him. I never knew one could experience that kind of love. It made it impossible to concentrate on anything, kept me daydreaming constantly, and made me a better person.



• I experienced a broken heart - a really broken heart. This sounds like a ridiculous thing to report, but the result of that broken heart was a much better me.



• An entire year of weekly temple attendance. What a blessing this was for me.



• My job changed twice. I changed stores in September and in April of this year, my workload changed dramatically as the responsibilities of the distribution center were added to my job description.



• Had an absolutely fantastic Christmas season. I attribute this to weekly temple attendance.

I'm sure there are more, many more things that happened since my last birthday. The bottom line is that I had a lot happen. Some of it was incredibly difficult. Some of it still is. But I know absolutely that I have a loving Father who is so aware of me. I don't understand why things happen the way they do, but I know that He does because He sees the whole picture. While I am nowhere near the spot I thought I would be at this point in my life, I am at the spot I should be. I'm looking forward to the events of the next 12 months, the things I will learn, the experiences I will have, and the person Ihope I will become.