I had some time this morning after finishing up preparation for my lesson today. So, I took a few minutes to read through some posts I had written at the beginning of 2009.

There was a reason for this. I woke up this morning experiencing some of the same feelings of loneliness and rejection that I felt at the beginning of this year, something that almost made me mad. "If 2010 was going to be anything like 2009", I thought, "I don't want to do it!"

Reading through earlier posts made me realize a few things. I've had some hard things happen this year, but I survived. I learned some important lessons, experienced things, both good and bad, that I wasn't anticipating, and had to rely even more on a Father who loves me.

Isn't that why we're here? We go through life, experiencing both good and bad, hopefully learning to rely more heavily on a loving Father, and making the necessary changes so that we can make it back home.

I don't like the hard stuff. I'm not good at it. I grumble and complain. Sometimes I even throw a tantrum. But, hopefully, I emerge better than I was. Hopefully, I grow up. Hopefully, I'm just a little closer to the One whose presence I am wanting to be welcomed into.

Hopefully.