Day Five - One Crazy Day

This will be short. I'm totally exhausted today. The house is a mess. In fact the groceries I bought this morning are still in bags on the kitchen floor, except for the stuff that needed to go into the refrigerator, of course.

Today I went to the temple, had a picnic and a fun hike with Jaime and the kids - even some extra kids, went grocery shopping, brought a couple of kids home with me for a sleep over, hung up some new curtains (even ironed them first), started the dishes (yes, they are still in water in the sink), had baths, put on a movie for the kids while I attempted some homework, gave up on the homework, played with the kids instead, popped popcorn, and now I've been told that it's bed time. Once the kids go to sleep, I have until midnight to read 150 pages and write two essays. It just might not happen tonight.

But, I'm thankful that the mess in my house was created by someone other than myself and that I'm ready for bed, not just because it's time, but because it's been such a busy day.

My time off of work ends on Sunday and at some point I have to get caught up. But today, I'm thankful for the chaos.

Day Four - Laughter

I was in Bountiful the other night with Sean, Dre, and Haden. We walked outside about 7:30, just when it was starting to get dark. Apparently, Haden doesn't see the dark very often. He kept saying, "Oh My Cow!" over and over again because he couldn't believe how dark it was getting. Dre and I were laughing so hard, I think I had tears running down my cheeks.

She called me the next day at work to tell me of another "Oh My Cow" experience, prompting more laughter. When I told the guys at work, one of them suggested we start giving an "Oh My Cow" award. He said it could only be for the guys because the girls would not be happy to get that kind of award. He's probably right.

So, on day four, I'm thankful to be able to laugh. I don't do it nearly enough, especially lately, which is something I need to fix. I'm working on it!

Day Three - Isaac

Today, there are many things that I could share for which I am thankful. But, narrowing it down to only one thing, I'm thankful for my nephew, Isaac.

We spent some time together today, putting together some bookcases. If you've never put anything together with the help of a three year old, you should. Especially a three year old who tells you what a great job you're doing and how shocked he is when it actually looks like a bookcase when you're finished.

The first one, with his help, took an hour. The second, all on my own took about 17 minutes. He was great at hammering things in and told me that because he was so much stronger, he should screw in the screws.

He couldn't wait to put the books in, and as soon as we did, and after we moved a rocking chair into that room, we had to have story time. There are few things that I enjoy as much a having a child on my lap, reading a story.

Isaac told me the other day that I was his "best Christy". He's my best Isaac, too.

(By the way, that picture was taken last summer. We were hiking up to the "Y". I don't think there's any way he could ride on my back like that now.)

Day Two - Long Walks

Today I went for a walk up Provo Canyon. I love that walk!

I was thinking back a couple of years when I decided that specific things in my life needed to change and I started walking at night. I would walk really late, after it was dark, so that no one could see me. This was not the smartest choice, but I was embarrassed.

Those walks strengthened me physically, but also emotionally. For more than an hour every day, I had time with just me. During those walks I took specific inventory of my life. I realized several things about my life that needed to be changed. Somehow on those walks I found the courage to begin to make those changes.

So, two years later, I still love to walk. While I am and probably always will be an emotional eater, I know the choices I need to make to be healthy. Now, I can do that walk that used to take me an hour and twenty minutes in about 45. While this year has not been my finest as far as a consistent exercise pattern, hopefully I'm back on track.

Today, on day two, I'm thankful for long walks and I thankful that those walks continue to help me be better.

Live In Thanksgiving Daily

Because of an incredible desire to feel better about life, I have spent much time the last couple of months reading conference talks. There have been many things that I've learned as I've taken copious notes. One of those things is that I need to be more thankful.

In Alma 34:38 we are reminded that we need to "live in thanksgiving daily". I stink at this. I spend too much time living in the past or worrying about the future. I complain too often and don't take time to realize how very blessed I am.

So, in an effort to attempt to "live in thanksgiving daily", I will post, each day, about something for which I am thankful.

Today, I am thankful for the opportunity to teach Gospel Doctrine in my ward. When I first got this calling, I was scared to death. Fortunately, it was during a Book of Mormon year, followed by a Church History year. While I was nervous beyond explanation, I had great friends who helped with incite and gave recommendations for resources. Fortunately, my job provided me with an outlet to obtain those resources.

However, from the time I was called, always in the back of my mind was the fact that 2010 would be an Old Testament year. I started to think of ways I could get released before that dreaded year. It didn't happen.

When 2010 began, and I was still teaching, I knew I had to figure out how to be released before I had to teach Isaiah. It didn't happen and today I taught my first Isaiah lesson. It was a sweet experience to read, study, and better understand about the Savior as a result of the words of Isaiah.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity that has forced me into the scriptures in a way I've not experienced before. I've have learned so much and have grown to love the scriptures in a way I haven't before.

Also, I'm thankful for the great members of my class. They teach me so much and are so patient with me while I learn.

Finally, a New Post...

Someone reminded me that I haven't posted anything this entire year. It's true. In fact, when I got on today, I'd almost forgotten how to post.

This has been an interesting year for me. Towards the beginning of the year, I met and fell in love with this amazing man. There were countless things that I loved about him and I was confident that the direction we were headed was absolutely the right thing. But, recently, things ended.

This caught me off guard and totally unprepared. I was left with a lot of questions and obvious heartbreak. I have really good days and incredibly hard days - sometimes both at the same time.

That being said, I would do it again, even knowing what the outcome would be. I learned a lot and am a better person having experienced what I did. I'm feeling a little lost but am confident that everything will be okay.

I want nothing but the best for him.

I had some time this morning after finishing up preparation for my lesson today. So, I took a few minutes to read through some posts I had written at the beginning of 2009.

There was a reason for this. I woke up this morning experiencing some of the same feelings of loneliness and rejection that I felt at the beginning of this year, something that almost made me mad. "If 2010 was going to be anything like 2009", I thought, "I don't want to do it!"

Reading through earlier posts made me realize a few things. I've had some hard things happen this year, but I survived. I learned some important lessons, experienced things, both good and bad, that I wasn't anticipating, and had to rely even more on a Father who loves me.

Isn't that why we're here? We go through life, experiencing both good and bad, hopefully learning to rely more heavily on a loving Father, and making the necessary changes so that we can make it back home.

I don't like the hard stuff. I'm not good at it. I grumble and complain. Sometimes I even throw a tantrum. But, hopefully, I emerge better than I was. Hopefully, I grow up. Hopefully, I'm just a little closer to the One whose presence I am wanting to be welcomed into.

Hopefully.