Live In Thanksgiving Daily

Laughing

2012-01-02T15:54:00.002-07:00

One thing I am certain that I love is to laugh! It's something I don't do nearly enough but the last couple of days have been filled with much laughter.

On New Year's Eve I was at my parents house. One little known fact about the Keddington Family is that a few hours or minutes after bedtime (8 pm), we get incredibly slap happy! I think I may be the worst. I cannot control my laughter and occasionally can't even breath.

We played Scrabble and since I could easily be the worst speller in my family, just for me, it was played by spelling all the words phonetically. We should have taken a picture of the board because we came up with some pretty good words and did a whole lot of laughing in the process.

I love clean, funny movies or books where the story makes me laugh out loud. I love to be with friends and family where there is much laughter.

2012 - A Year of Enjoyment

2012-01-01T00:07:00.004-07:00

I can hardly believe it's January 1st, 2012. I can't even remember the last time I was actually awake to ring in the New Year, but tonight I find myself sitting in the living room, lit only by the Christmas tree, wondering.

I've had most of this week off and have done a whole lot of thinking. While I had plenty of lazy time, I spent a lot of time at the temple. One of the days I was there, I read a scripture. I've been thinking about it a lot ever since. The scripture is found in 2 Nephi 9:14. There is one line that says, "the righteous shall have a perfect knowledge of their enjoyment". This caused me to think about a comment from President Hinckley that "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured".

2011 was a year of enduring. While I suppose it would be easy to blame that on some individuals and even some circumstances, the truth is, it was all my own doing. I made it that way. My sister asked me at some point during the summer what, besides spending time with my family, really made me happy, what were things I did that made me laugh, and how often did I do those things. Even thinking about that conversation brings tears to my eyes because I didn't know how to answer her.

So, this week, one of the many things I've been thinking about is who I am. Now, I know who I am. I know that I have a Father in Heaven who absolutely loves me and I know that I am His daughter and have potential to one day become like He is. I also know that I am part of an incredible family who supports and loves me in spite of me. But, if someone were to ask me what my favorite book or movie is, or what music I enjoy or artist I love, I don't know the answers to those things. I love books and movies and I certainly love music, so these should be easy answers, but I don't know. What about my favorite food? Is answering "something I don't have to cook" even an answer?

Tonight, I sit here by the light of the Christmas tree, wondering and determined that 2012 will be a year of enjoyment as I discover the answers to these questions. This year for 365 days (dare I even commit to that number?) I will discover me and what I like and probably things I don't like. While my New Year's resolution continues to be the same as it is every year, to end this year better than I was at the beginning, I want to do that by enjoying, not just enduring. I want to be able to say in 2012 I discovered things about myself that I didn't know and became better in the process.

Birthdays

2011-05-22T19:23:00.004-06:00

This week will be my 38th birthday - one year closer to 40! It's kind of crazy to think about, actually. I don't feel almost 40. When I got my haircut last week the very young stylist asked me how old I was. When I told her she said, "No way! You can't be that old!" This really made me feel good until I went to buy a new computer (mine has been broken for a month) and the twenty something kid helping me pointed to one and said, "My mom really likes this one so you probably will too." Your mom? Really?

I have to admit that about this time every year I start to evaluate my life. I think about the year that has past and wonder about the things that took place. There was actually a point at this time last year where I was confident I would be married by this birthday. Earlier this year it looked like I might even be engaged by my birthday. But.... And while it's easy to think about the fact that I'm 38 (almost) and don't have a husband and children, which is something I will continue to wish for every year, there are a lot of great things that happened from May of 2010 until May of 2011. Let me share just a few of them.

I graduated from college! It took 20 years, but I finally did it. I cried when I submitted my last assignment. I couldn't believe I was finally finished.

I fell in love - twice. Well, not exactly twice because it was the same man both times. And actually I had never fallen out of love with him. I never knew one could experience that kind of love. It made it impossible to concentrate on anything, kept me daydreaming constantly, and made me a better person.

I experienced a broken heart - a really broken heart. This sounds like a ridiculous thing to report, but the result of that broken heart was a much better me.

An entire year of weekly temple attendance. What a blessing this was for me.

My job changed twice. I changed stores in September and in April of this year, my workload changed dramatically as the responsibilities of the distribution center were added to my job description.

Had an absolutely fantastic Christmas season. I attribute this to weekly temple attendance.

I'm sure there are more, many more things that happened since my last birthday. The bottom line is that I had a lot happen. Some of it was incredibly difficult. Some of it still is. But I know absolutely that I have a loving Father who is so aware of me. I don't understand why things happen the way they do, but I know that He does because He sees the whole picture. While I am nowhere near the spot I thought I would be at this point in my life, I am at the spot I should be. I'm looking forward to the events of the next 12 months, the things I will learn, the experiences I will have, and the person Ihope I will become.

School

2011-01-26T21:18:00.002-07:00

Tonight I am pretending to do homework while I'm actually watching the BYU basketball game. It's nice to have a bit of a break, actually. Most of my evenings since school started on the 3rd of January have been spent doing homework - a lot of it!

I ended up having to drop my class in December. Crazy retail made it just about impossible to do anything other than work and I wasn't really looking forward to failing this class. So, I have 6 weeks and 5 days left of school. I can hardly believe it.

2 o'clock church

2011-01-02T19:49:00.004-07:00

For some reason in my stake, our wards meet at 10, 12, and 2 rather than 9,11, and 1. I'll be the first to admit that while 10 is better than 9 and 12 isn't so bad, 2 is not my favorite and that's what we changed to today. I did forget, however, one reason why I like later church - the preparation that takes place Sunday morning.

With church at 2 there is no rushing to get things ready. Finishing touches on a lesson can take place with ample time. There is no speeding through scripture reading and there is plenty of time for thinking about what I've been reading. I can read through the assigned scriptures for gospel doctrine as well as the relief society lesson and feel like I can actually contribute to class. There is time to practice the songs I have to play for choir, which I'm sure everyone is grateful for, and even a little time for any other music I'd like to play through.

While it's true that a lot of these things can take place after church, doing them before helps me to feel better prepared for the Sabbath. So, while I'm sure I will do my share of grumbling about church from 2 to 5, I am thankful for the blessing it was today.

2010

2010-12-28T16:51:00.003-07:00

Wow! I survived! I can hardly believe Christmas has come and gone, the holiday shopping season is over, and 2010 is quickly coming to a close.

During this year I experienced things that I hadn't in years as well as a whole bunch of new things, I did a lot of growing up, and I learned a ton. Some of those learning experiences were painful but some were amazingly happy.

I'm thankful for all that happened this year. Honestly. And I can't wait to see what adventures await during 2011.

Day 70 - A Change of Heart

2010-12-23T20:49:00.005-07:00

This morning I read Alma 5. I love that chapter. Every time I read it I ask myself those questions and wonder if I'm in a better spot than I was the last time I read it. As I read today I started thinking about my heart.

It's been through a lot this year. It loved someone in a way and more deeply than it ever had before. There were times when that love was overwhelming and it was hard to imagine anything happier.

Then it was broken. There were times when I wondered if my little heart would ever heal. Could it recover? It didn't seem possible.

But it was! The result of experiencing a broken heart has been a changed one.

While going through all of this a dear friend shared this quote with me. Speaking of the Savior, Elder Bruce and Sister Marie Hafen write that "the height of His infinite capacity for joy is the inverse, mirror image of the depth of His capacity to bear our burdens. And as it is with Him, so it can be for us. Our sorrows and sacrifices carve and stretch the caverns of feeling within our own hearts. And as these caverns are enlarged they expand our soul's capacity for joy."

This is what my heart experienced. It was stretched and carved and it hurt while that was happening and at times I didn't think I could bear it. However, those enlarged caverns have indeed made room for more joy and happiness than I have ever experienced before. While I'm sure there is still more carving and stretching ahead, I'm so thankful for the change that took place this year in my little heart.

Day 69 - An Amazing Team!

2010-12-22T22:54:00.002-07:00

Tonight I am thankful for the amazing team of people with whom I work. They have helped to make this season so enjoyable and have made for some pretty fantastic days. Everyone is working so hard and getting so excited over the great things that are happening. Thanks so much you guys!!!

Day 68 - The Holiday Season

2010-12-20T20:43:00.004-07:00

Since 1996, the year I came home from my mission, I have worked in the mall. Christmas was not fun. I dreaded it. It seemed like the worst in people came out at Christmas, rather than the best, and dealing with the public during that time of year made me less than jolly which I sadly admit made it harder for those around me to experience the true meaning of Christmas.

This year, however, things are different. I'm not working in the mall, which has made things seem less hectic, customers are still a little fussy, but not as much as usual, and I am enjoying the season more than I have in almost 15 years.

My days have been full, especially the last couple of weeks, but not just with work. I've been able to attend concerts, sing with my family, visit good friends, secretly deliver some gifts, attend the temple, participate in our ward Christmas program, and come home at night totally exhausted.

This year feels like what Christmas used to feel like. I am so very thankful for that!

Day 67 - Oh So Much

2010-12-18T23:52:00.001-07:00

I have oh so much to share but I am totally exhausted! The last two days have been filled with thankful things. More tomorrow...

Day 66 - Final 15 Hour Day

2010-12-16T23:32:00.003-07:00

Tonight I am so thankful that my final 15 hour day of the season (I hope) is over. And actually, it was a pretty good day.

Since one of my full time supervisors is out because of some knee surgery and since it's finals week, we've been pretty short handed. We were running around like crazy tonight, which made the day pass pretty quickly. I also have fantastic people who worked their tails off and will continue to do so for the next 7 shopping days (apparently my math was a little off last night).

Day 65 - Nine More Shopping Days

2010-12-15T21:13:00.003-07:00

Tonight I am thankful that there are only 9 more shopping days left until Christmas.

Day 64 - Still and Quiet Time

2010-12-14T22:08:00.002-07:00

Tonight I read a conference talk from last October. The talk was by Sister Matsumori and it was on the Spirit. She made a comment that I loved. She said that "if we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us."

This evening I am so thankful for the still and quiet times in my life. I'm thankful for the whispering of sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort that has come to me. I'm grateful for gentle reminders of who I am and that I'm not alone. I know that taking advantage of those still and quiet times are necessary as we work to be better.

Day 63 - Good Friends

2010-12-13T11:31:00.002-07:00

Today I got a Christmas card in the mail. As I read the kind words written by two people whom I dearly love, I was filled with so much gratitude for all of the good people in my life. I am surrounded by those who make a difference for good and feel blessed to have so many I consider as friends. Thank you!

Day 62 - Stars

2010-12-12T19:52:00.002-07:00

Tonight, after having dinner with my family, I walked outside. It was dark, and since there are very few lights in Mapleton, the stars were amazing!

I love to look at the stars. When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut. I thought it would be cool to be the first woman in space, but someone beat me to it.

Earlier in the year I went to the planetarium at the gateway. We watched the move in 3D about the Hubble Telescope. It was incredible. It reaffirmed what I already knew to be true - that all was created by our loving Father in Heaven.

I'm thankful to know that. I'm thankful that when I look up at the stars I am reminded that He loves me - so much in fact - that He created those stars for me to look up at and remember Him.

Day 61 - A New Mattress

2010-12-12T00:10:00.004-07:00

Last night I spent the night in Bountiful at my sister's house. I slept on the couch. I woke up this morning for only the second time all year without pain in my back and hips.

For a while I figured I was just getting old. I would wake up in the morning so sore that I could hardly move. Then in September I was in Lake Tahoe for a conference. I woke up in the morning with no back pain and realized I wasn't getting old. I just have a terrible mattress! However, I really wasn't ready to purchase a new one.

But, waking up this morning, feeling 30, not 80, even after running up and down the stairs several times with Haden on my back, convinced me that it was time to buy a new mattress. So, maybe in the middle of this crazy next few weeks of the holiday, I'll see what I can find.

I'm thankful that sometime in the next little bit I will have a new bed to sleep in.

Day 60 - No Traffic!

2010-12-10T20:54:00.002-07:00

Today after work I drove to Bountiful. From American Fork to Bountiful, at 5:00 pm, there was NO traffic! As many times as I have headed north this year, that has never been the case. I made it in 40 minutes - very thankful for that.

Day 59 - Breathing

2010-12-09T20:01:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I take breathing for granted. Normally it happens without even having to think about it. But sometimes it doesn't.

I have asthma. Normally it only bothers me during allergy season. However, for the last few weeks, since I've been sick, sometimes it feels like I have constant asthma (which I realize is my own fault since I should probably just break down and go to the doctor).

Tonight I am grateful for the times when I breath without thinking about it and I'm thankful that the times when I don't, there are things available to help me breath.

Day 58 - Happiness

2010-12-08T20:07:00.003-07:00

Tonight I am thankful for happiness. I've often wondered if a women without a husband or children can experience a fullness of joy. I'm not sure. But I do know that there are things in my life that bring me absolute happiness. Lately, that list of things has been expanding, a lot!

I'm so grateful for the happiness I feel. I'm grateful to those who, on a daily basis contribute to that happiness, and I'm very grateful to be where I am in my life.

Day 57 - Blessings

2010-12-07T22:34:00.003-07:00

Tonight I was driving into work to pick up some things. It had been a good day - a really good day.

While I was driving I started thinking about how blessed I am. It's overwhelming actually.

So tonight I'm thankful for all my blessings - blessings that are too many to list.

Day 56 - Service

2010-12-06T22:13:00.003-07:00

One of my favorite parts about Christmas at work is the stockings we hang on the wall in the break room. Each employee, the day after Thanksgiving, is given a person who, in secret, they give a gift to every week until Christmas.

I love watching people give and receive their gifts. Some of them really struggle with what to give their person. This is especially true this year as we've combined two teams together. People, for the most part, have put a lot of thought into it and I've loved watching as people pull their gifts out of their stockings.

So tonight I'm thankful for the joy the secret santa's give to me each day. I'm thankful for the feeling it's brought to our team. We get along better when we're serving each other and we feel more united. It makes work that much more enjoyable.

Day 55 - President Monson

2010-12-05T16:45:00.003-07:00

After church today I watched a devotion address by President Monson which was given at BYU in September of 2009. He talked about each of the prophets he had know and what they taught us. The talk was fantastic and incredibly funny.

As I watched I was filled with so much gratitude for this man whom I have grown to love and respect. I know he is a prophet of God and I am so thankful for him.

Day 54 - The End of the Week

2010-12-04T22:41:00.002-07:00

Tonight I am thankful to be at the end of this week - not that it wasn't a good week. It was. But I am exhausted! Things are busy at work, but my employees are great and are working so hard. So far, the holiday season is off to a good start. It's nice not having to fight traffic at the mall!

Day 53 - A Haircut

2010-12-03T22:09:00.002-07:00

I have not had my haircut since March. Then I had it cut pretty short and I kind of missed my long hair. Since it's grown a lot since then, it's spent most of it's time in a pony tail because it didn't look all that great down. So today I finally had it cut so it looks somewhat better. I'm sure there will still be plenty of pony tails, but maybe not quite as many.

Day 52 - Road Construction

2010-12-02T22:25:00.009-07:00

Tonight I am thankful that the 40 minutes it took me to get home from work tonight is eventually going to result in a very nice freeway with more lanes than just the two I had tonight. It will also, once again, result in a 15 minute commute. Eventually. And I am thankful for that.

Day 51 - A New Dress Code

2010-12-01T19:40:00.002-07:00

Today I am thankful that I no longer have to wear a white shirt to work! Our dress code changed today and I can wear whatever color shirt I'd like. Yipee!!! I can't wait to toss some of those white shirts that have so desperately needed tossing. Now I just need to do some shopping for some new work clothes.

Day 50 - A Good Morning

2010-11-30T22:15:00.002-07:00

I worked the closing shift at work so I had a free morning. I was able to study my scriptures, read some conference talks, and go to the temple. It was just what I needed today.

Day 49 - Kindness

2010-11-29T19:53:00.003-07:00

Someone came to my house early yesterday morning, shoveled my driveway and cleaned the snow off my car. Then last night, someone else brought me dinner.

I am so thankful for good people and the kindness they show me.

Day 48 - A Warm and Cozy Place to Live

2010-11-28T14:27:00.002-07:00

Today I am thankful for a warm place to live on this snowy day. I have had a rotten cold since Thanksgiving and haven't really left my house since I got home from work on Friday (except for playing for the choir and teaching sunday school today). Now I am back home in my warm bed, listening to the wind howl, and being thankful for my little house.

Day 47 - The Plan of Salvation

2010-11-26T17:37:00.004-07:00

Yesterday, after a great day with my family, I got home and turned on the news. It was then that I learned of a terrible accident that had occurred with a family in my ward. While traveling to Thanksgiving dinner, their car was struck by a semi. The father and one of his daughters were killed and the rest of the family were seriously injured.

I couldn't believe it. My heart ached for the family. I was up most of the night thinking about it. I felt guilty that I had had such a good day while others were suffering so. I wondered how such a thing could be endured by those who were left behind. I concluded that it couldn't, if it wasn't for one thing - the plan of salvation.

Because a couple of members of my family have passed away during the last month or so, I've spent a lot of time thinking about this plan. It is such a blessing to know that this life is not all we have. We know where from where we came, know that there is a purpose for being here on earth, and know that there is much more after this life and there we can be reunited with our loved ones.

This knowledge helps us endure hard things and it helps us keep going.

Day 46 - So Much to be Thankful For

2010-11-25T09:05:00.006-07:00

This morning I woke up early but I had a lot on my mind so I stayed in bed a little longer than usual. The holiday season tends to be a little difficult for me, something that I can't quite explain. It takes a conscious effort on my part to be happy during this time of year. I realize it shouldn't, but it does. So, this morning when I woke up, and those feelings of disappointment started creeping in, I started thinking of all the ways I had been blessed.

Last night before bed I read a fantastic talk by Elder Holland about the Savior. The timing for reading that talk was perfect. I was reminded that He, more than anyone else, knows how I feel. He knows me. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows my struggles and He knows what causes me joy. I am so thankful for Him and for all of the many blessings that are a part of my life because of Him.

I'm thankful for my sweet family. There is such strength in my life that comes from them. Their support for me is constant. They are the ones with whom I laugh and cry. I wish we could all be together today.

The gospel has been such a blessing in my life. Striving to live the teachings I know to be true and constantly needing to make corrections has made my life what it is. I have so far to go and so much to learn but the journey brings me joy.

I'm thankful that I've been able to teach gospel doctrine the last few years. It still makes me so nervous and I struggle with understanding things sometimes, but my love of the scriptures has increased in a way I didn't think possible. I have found strength and peace while studying that I desperately needed.

I love the temple and am so thankful for the time I've spent there the last six months. It has provided a place for answers, instruction, and for peace as well as a place where I have felt encircled in His arms.

I'm thankful for good friends. Some of you I have know all of my life, while others I have known for just a short time. Each of you has made a difference in my life.

My job is another thing I have to be thankful for. My income is sufficient to provide me with the things that I need. My job has provided me with opportunities that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I am a better person as a result of those opportunities.

I'm thankful to work with great people. They make me laugh and help me not to take things too seriously. They put up with a lot from me and I'm thankful that some have the courage to let me know when I need a time out.

I'm thankful to live where I do. My little house is perfect for me. I have great neighbors who look out for me and sweet friends here who I would have missed out on if I didn't live in American Fork.

I could go on and on. My life is richly blessed and I know that all I have comes from a Father who loves me. I'm thankful that He listens, that He loves me, and that He sees the whole picture.

Day 45 - Exits

2010-11-24T21:05:00.002-07:00

Tonight I am thankful that the freeway exit by my house is open! I forget every day when I'm on my way home from work that it's closed. But tonight, to my surprise, it was open.

Day 44 - An Evening Off

2010-11-23T21:21:00.002-07:00

Tonight I am thankful for a free evening. I was able to do some reading, catch up on some things at home, enjoy the wind blowing outside, and have a break from homework. It was a nice break before a busy weekend!

Day 43 - A Good Neighbor

2010-11-22T22:31:00.002-07:00

Tonight I'm thankful for my sweet neighbor who came over to visit. I love when she does that. She and her family have taken such good care of me since I've moved here. She frequently brings me treats and even some meals, they shovel the snow in my driveway, and rescue me when things happen, like my water heater blowing up. We've laughed and we've cried. She makes sure everything in my life is going okay.

I always feel better after she's come.

Day 42 - The Good Shepherd

2010-11-21T16:57:00.007-07:00

Right this very minute I'm sitting in my favorite spot in the living room, next to the Christmas tree, candles are lit, Christmas music is playing oh so quietly in the background, and my heart is unbelievably full.

Part of the lesson in Gospel Doctrine today was about the Good Shepherd. While preparing the lesson, I was so filled with gratitude for a loving Savior who knows my name. I was gently reminded of experiences lately where I have been sought out, gathered, fed, guided, and strengthened - all by Him.

Knowing that He is my shepherd, that He walks in front of me, that He knows who I am, and that He looks for me when I'm lost, are all things that fill my heart with gratitude.

Day 41 - My Christmas Tree

2010-11-20T21:34:00.005-07:00

Today, on my last Saturday off before Christmas, I'm grateful to have my Christmas tree up, thanks to the help of the kids. For a lot of years I didn't put up a tree. I work in retail and am surrounded by Christmas decorations during this time of year. Did I really want a reminder of the crazy Christmas season when I got home from work?

When I moved to American Fork three years ago, I grew up. I realized that having the Spirit of Christmas in my home was an absolute necessity. Now I love to read my scriptures in the morning by the light of the Christmas tree. While it's hard to work in retail and remember the true meaning of Christmas throughout the whole season, my little Christmas tree helps me.

Day 40 - Final Weekend

2010-11-19T20:19:00.002-07:00

This afternoon marked the beginning of my final weekend off before Christmas. I can't even believe it. These last couple of months have passed by so quickly.

After work I went to Mapleton and picked up Isaac, Spencer, and Audrey for a sleep over. We went out to dinner, hit Deseret Book to get some individual servings of BYU ice cream, played with some fun stuff, and then watched Muppets Letters to Santa. In between all that I got the laundry done, vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bathroom, and changed the batteries in the smoke detector.

Tonight I am thankful for my final weekend off of 2010.

Day 39 - A Night Out

2010-11-18T23:42:00.002-07:00

Tonight I went to dinner and to see Harry Potter. I'll admit I left the theater feeling totally confused since I've only read the first three books and seen a couple of the movies. But, in spite of that, it was a fun evening.

It was good to catch up with old friends and meet new ones. I tend to be a little uncomfortable in social settings, especially in a group of people who all know each other and I know almost no one. But tonight was a much needed night of fun. It lifted my spirits and I am so thankful for it.

Day 38 - Faith

2010-11-17T18:41:00.005-07:00

Last night I was reading through some conferences talks from April of last year. Two right in a row were about faith, something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Elder Pino made this observation in his talk, "Living the gospel does not mean that we will everlastingly escape adversity. Rather, it means that we will be prepared to face and endure adversity more confidently."

I don't know how confident I am at facing adversity. I really don't like it. But here's something I do know - Heavenly Father always takes care of me and I am always better as a result of that adversity. While I frequently wonder if I have the faith necessary, when I really think about it, I trust Him. My actions don't indicate that sometimes. I'm good at feeling sorry for myself. But the bottom line is that I trust Him.

Elder Christofferson in that same conference said that "He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way He will stretch forth His hand to you, saying, 'Here am I'."

I'm thankful to know that is true.

Day 37 - One Beautiful View

2010-11-16T18:48:00.002-07:00

I had to run to West Jordan today after work. While I was driving home I was thankful for exactly the same thing I was thankful for this morning - the beautiful mountains.

I love the mountains. I always have. We used to camp all the time when I was younger and while now, we seem to only manage one or two camping trips a year, I still love it. I think I sleep better in the mountains, on the hard ground, than anywhere else.

Sometimes, as a family, we would go up the canyon just to have dinner. I still love long drives in the mountains. I love to hike, sit by a lake, and watch the animals. For me, there is a feeling of peace and closeness with Deity in the mountains that is different than other places.

I am thankful for the beauty that surrounds me. I'm thankful to drive to work every morning up University Parkway with the mountains right in front of me. I'm thankful to live so close to them.

Day 36 - Homework

2010-11-15T21:20:00.004-07:00

Okay, so I'm really not thankful for homework. Well, maybe I am.

The process of going back to school as a mature adult is an interesting one. I learned a lot about myself. I'm a much better student than I was as an 18 year old, but it's much harder for me to pay attention. I can't spend too long on the same task because my mind wanders. I procrastinate, but I'm better than I used to be. I'm more brave than I used to be. If I don't agree with the grade I was given, I have a conversation with the professor. (By the way, that's never gotten me a better grade.)

It's been a good experience for me and I am thankful that I am so close to graduating. February 21st!!!

Day 35 - This Great Country

2010-11-14T18:40:00.002-07:00

One of my favorite things about afternoon church is that I can watch Music and the Spoken word on Sunday mornings. This morning's program was a tribute to all of the men and women who are fighting or who have fought to defend our freedom or the freedoms of others. Having witnessed this sacrifice, first hand, I started thinking about why they do what they do.

Right after September 11th my brother joined the army and it wasn't too long after that my brother-in-law did as well. Their military careers took them in different directions, but I believe they did what they did for the same reason - they love this country.

We seem to be bombarded with commentary about what's wrong with America. Decisions are made based on what is politically correct, not on what the majority wants. While we profess to be more tolerant than in years past, sometimes our actions would indicate otherwise. However, this morning I started thinking about the reasons I love being a part of this country.

I appreciate the fact that I am relatively safe. I don't have to have bars on my windows and doors and there are not police officers with machine guns standing on corners, like there were in Chile when I was there.

I can go to church every Sunday and worship the way that I want. I have the freedom to discuss my religious views without fear.

I don't have to be secretive in my actions or hide to listen to the radio or watch television. I can use the internet when I want and don't worry that the government will choose the websites I can visit.

I can have as many children as I'd like, live where I want to, and work in whatever profession I choose. I don't have to cover my face when I'm in public, unless I choose to, and my conversations are not restricted.

I can visit beautiful places - and there are many here, visit whomever I'd like, and travel in a variety of different ways. I take for granted that I have heat, water, and electricity in my home and I don't worry that those things will be turned off for an extended period of time.

I am proud to be a part of this country and am thankful for all the freedoms I enjoy.

Day 34 - BYU Football

2010-11-13T15:54:00.004-07:00

I love BYU football!!! Is that a crazy thing to be thankful for?

There was a point in my very young life that I knew the names and numbers of every player on the team. The journal I kept as a 7 and 8 year old has the scores to each of the games recorded in it. I have always cheered for them, even when they've had a rough season, although I always prefer a win.

Today's game was fun to watch.

Day 33 - Catching a Break

2010-11-12T19:18:00.005-07:00

Today was not the best day. There are a lot of reasons why this may have been the case but none of them really matter.

After getting pulled over on my way home from work and being issued two tickets (It seems that in July, not the best month for me, my car expired. It also seems that I didn't change my address with the DMV the last time I moved), I broke down. I think the words "you've got to be kidding me", and "can't I catch a break?" actually came out of my mouth.

I was lovingly reminded that I had caught a break. Because it had been more than 90 days, my car could have been impounded and it wasn't. Other things could have happened, but they didn't. And while the last few months have not been my favorite, worse things could have happened.

So tonight, I'm thankful for those times when I'm reminded that I'm not alone, that I need to be more grateful, and that there have been several times in my life when I have indeed caught a break.

Day 32 - Good Friends

2010-11-12T00:13:00.005-07:00

Tonight I got together with a few of my supervisors, past and present. We were missing a bunch of them and I honestly wish all could have been there. We went bowling and had dinner and it was so fun to catch up.

You'll be happy to know that I am the worst bowler of them all. However, each game got progressively better.

I was thinking as I was driving home late tonight that by next summer just about all of them will be married. It's strange to think that not too long ago some had just come home from missions, some were finishing up school, and some were trying to figure out life. Now they are husbands and wives, moms and dads, and college graduates. Basically, they're all grown up!

I rely heavily on my supervisors. Some of them worked for me during incredibly tough times, while others were there when we experienced our best year ever. All are my friends. They are the group who, more than anyone else, have experienced my good as well as my bad. They've seen me frustrated, angry, hurt, happy, excited, silly, and exhausted. They've put up with my short fuse, worked long hours by my side, and accomplished things no one thought they could.

I admire, love, and respect them and I am better because of my association with them.

Day 31 - Home Safely

2010-11-10T20:18:00.004-07:00

Traffic on the way home from work was crazy! I always forget before I hit the freeway that because of construction one of the lanes is closed as is my exit. Tonight, the normal 15 minute commute took me an hour.

About 45 minutes into my drive something happened. Traffic was crawling alone. The big white van behind me was tired of waiting so he decided to pass me on the shoulder. Since there was no shoulder, only the emergency pull out that is three feet long, this created quite a problem.

I don't know how he didn't hit me or how I didn't hit anyone else trying to get out of his way, but I didn't. I'm so thankful for that.

Day 30 - Visiting Teaching

2010-11-09T20:22:00.003-07:00

Today, right after work I went visiting teaching. I'm not a very good visiting teacher and I seem to be constantly resolving to be better. I especially stink at it when things get hard in my life, which is the time when I should be better at it. Service seems to make things less hard in our lives. Someday I'll figure that out.

Anyway, I went today and, just like always, I loved it.

After, my visiting teachers came. It's such a blessing to have them in my home. We could talk for hours. I love the spirit they bring into my home and I especially love that come because they want to, not because they have to.

Sister Thompson in the last General Women's Conference made this statement, "Because we follow the example of and teachings of Jesus Christ, we value this sacred assignment to love, know, serve, understand, teach, and minister in His behalf."

My visiting teachers do this - minister in His behalf - and I am thankful for them.

Day 29 - Time Change

2010-11-08T22:15:00.003-07:00

Tonight I'm thankful for this time change. I hate the one in the spring. It takes me months to adjust, but I love the one in the fall. This morning I left for work at 7, and it was light outside. I know it won't last, but I appreciate it while it does. Also, I will admit to loving the extra hour of sleep. I really needed it.

Day 28 - My Parents

2010-11-07T19:34:00.006-07:00

Our lesson in Relief Society today was on being good mothers. There have been times in my life when it was almost unbearable to sit through one of those lessons. Other than making it back Home, there is nothing I want more than to be married and have a family. Not one thing. However, growing up a bit and realizing that I will at some point have that blessing usually makes those lessons enjoyable.

Today, however, I left after class with a lot of questions. After thinking about it for a while, I called my parents and my dad answered the phone. We had a great conversation, he put some things into perspective, and I felt better.

I am so thankful for good parents, for wise parents, and for parents who love me unconditionally. There have been several times in my life when hard things have happened when I just wanted to go home and talk to my mom and dad. I knew that sitting on the couch next to my mom I could cry and she would put her arm around me and stroke my head. Sometimes she would cry with me and she always has an opinion on how to fix everything.

My dad is a great listener. He rarely tells you what to do, but asks questions until you figure it out. He used to do that when he'd help me with math problems and it would drive me crazy! I just wanted the answer! But, asking me questions and letting me talk things out has been so helpful.

From them, my testimony began to grow. From them, I began to understand who I am. From them, I began to realize just how much my Father loves me.

I am so thankful to be their daughter!

Day 27 - Grandma's Funeral

2010-11-06T20:45:00.003-06:00

Today was my Grandma's funeral. The weather was perfect. One never would have guessed that it was a Saturday in November.

I got to play the organ, something that under normal circumstances causes me much stress since I'm not an organist. However, I really enjoy playing for funerals, especially if I know the person well. I spend a lot of time thinking about what music they would want played. For postlude today I played Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. I hope she liked it.

The special musical number kind of fell apart at the last minute and so we scrambled to find something else. Some of the grand kids sang Lord, I Would Follow Thee, which I accompanied. They sounded amazing, honestly, and the song really brought a sweet feeling to the meeting.

My dad spoke. I always love listening to him speak. He talked about the need for families and how we should not let anything drive us away from them. He talked about kneeling at the feet of the Savior and having Him tell us that we were not as bad as we thought we were. Sister Beck in our regional conference a month or so ago made a similar comment. I thought about that a lot today. We need to constantly be working to be better, but sometimes we are really hard on ourselves. We forget the Atonement helps us, not just everyone else we know.

Today, I am thankful for the things I learned, for the spirit I felt, and, once again, to be able to be with family as we paid a final tribute to my Grandma Keddington.

Day 26 - Extended Family

2010-11-05T20:58:00.003-06:00

I know I've already said that I'm thankful for my family, but today I saw members of my extended family who I haven't seen for years. We were at my grandma's viewing. People flew in or drove in from all parts of the country. It was so nice to be able to catch up, to see where people are and what they are doing, and to realize that none of us have aged at all!!!

Day 25 - Philosophy

2010-11-04T21:27:00.004-06:00

My current class is a philosophy class. I spent the better part of the evening reading about ideas from different philosophers. Some of it was very fascinating. Some of it was a little ridiculous. But all of it made me very thankful for what I know to be true.

I'm so thankful to know with surety from where I came. I'm thankful to know that I have a loving Father in Heaven and that I am His daughter. That knowledge helps me during those times when I feel alone or when things are hard. It also brings me much joy and peace.

I'm thankful to know that I am a part of something bigger, that this life is not the end, and if I work hard here, making the necessary course corrections, not only will I be welcomed into the arms of those loved ones who have gone on before, but also into the arms of the Savior. This also brings me much peace and joy.

Day 24 - A Productive Work Day

2010-11-03T21:11:00.002-06:00

Today I'm thankful for all I was able to get finished at work today. This is a crazy time of year in retail. While we're not busy with customers, we are feeling overloaded with product and since our stockroom is ridiculously small, it feels like we're always behind. So while it was a very long day, I was able to get schedules done for the rest of the year, get the rest of the Christmas product out on the floor, and clean up some messes.

Day 23 - My Grandma

2010-11-02T18:54:00.002-06:00

Today, right before noon, my Grandma Keddington passed away. The last few days I've been thinking of my earliest memories with Grandma. I thought she had the most beautiful house I'd ever seen. I loved to look at all her dolls and her pictures.

I remember as a little girl spending Christmas Eve at her house and then going back for breakfast the next morning. I loved to see all my cousins, looked forward to sitting on Santa's lap, and loved the meal that Grandma would cook. We would watch the Wizard of Oz in the basement, waiting for Santa, and we would wait to hear the jingle bells.

I'm not sure how old I was when she started taking us to the Nutcracker. We did it every year for a long time. I felt so grown up when I was there.

When I was eight years old, right before I got baptized, she took me shopping - just me. She bought me a beautiful dress, which I still have in the cedar chest that she gave me when I turned 16, some shiny black shoes and some new tights. I felt like a princess.

When I was 12 I got to go to Hawaii with her, my aunts and cousins, and my mom. It was just the girls and it was such a memorable trip. It was the first time I'd been on an airplane or had been to the beach. I loved it.

I remember her trips to Europe. She would make sure to send each one of us a postcard telling about her adventures. I really looked forward to these.

Grandma lived a long and full life. She served and loved. She took care of people.

I love you, Grandma, I'm thankful for you, and I'll miss you!

Day 22 - A Little Behind

2010-11-01T21:06:00.002-06:00

I'm a little behind, having missed yesterday. It's not that there was nothing to be thankful for. Yesterday I left church early in order to attend another sacrament meeting. When I got in the car there was a message from my mom letting me know that my Grandma Keddington wasn't doing very well an wasn't expected to make it through the night. I headed to Bountiful with my family and haven't made it back home yet.

During the last two days I've had many thoughts running through my mind. I've been reminded how much we are loved and what a beautiful thing Heavenly Father's plan is. I'm so thankful for the things I know to be true, that this life is not the end but only a preparation for what's next.

As my sweet Grandma struggles and waits during her final few hours on this earth, I'm thankful for the knowledge that Grandpa and others who have gone on before are there, waiting for her.

Day 21 - Christmas Music

2010-10-30T21:47:00.008-06:00

I had to go in to work tonight to take care of a few things. While I was sitting in my office I put in the new Christmas CD by Steven Sharp Nelson. It's fantastic!!!

I know today is only Halloween and we still have 8 more weeks left until Christmas, but I love Christmas music. I could listen to it all year long.

Day Twenty - Rough Road Ahead

2010-10-29T22:22:00.003-06:00

I was driving home from Salt Lake tonight and passed a sign like this one several times. I started wondering if we do things differently as drivers when we know we are coming upon rough roads. Some seem to be overly cautious while others don't seem to care at all. What do I do?

In this last general conference, it was mentioned in a couple of talks that the rough times are not over. So what am I doing to be prepared for the rough road ahead?

I've spent the last few weeks reading through conference. Each talk has something in it that I should be doing to be better prepared. Elder Scott made this observation, "As the teachings of the Savior are constantly obeyed, life will be beautiful, the future secure, and there will be capacity to overcome the challenges that cross our path."

Following that counsel, making necessary course corrections, and seeking the help of heaven will ensure that I am ready for whatever rough road is up ahead. For that, I am thankful.

Day Nineteen -Tired

2010-10-28T22:19:00.006-06:00

You know that feeling at the end of the day when you are totally and completely exhausted because you worked hard, got things done, crossed things off your to-do list, and even managed to get in a few extra things? Well, that's what I'm thankful for today. That feeling.

Day Eighteen - My Job

2010-10-27T20:45:00.005-06:00

Today I'm thankful for my job. Really thankful.

Six years ago I was working for a different company. I was working 6 days a week, seven that last year at Christmas time, and I was easily putting in 14 or 15 hours a day. I did almost nothing except work.

I had been at this job for 9 years. When they announced that they would be open on Sunday, I knew that I couldn't stay. Fortunately, the next day a flier was given to me about a new job.

I was reading in my journal the other night about my experiences while applying and interviewing for this job. Everything fell into place and I knew that taking that job was the right thing - an absolutely necessary thing.

In this job I have worked with some absolutely incredible people who have influenced my life in ways that are hard to describe. They have seen me at my best and my worst. We have laughed and cried. We've played and worked our tails off. We've bagged a million rolls and sold countless books. We've put out fires and been robbed at gunpoint. We've gone sailing at Tahoe, repelling at Red Fish, and climbed to the top of Angel's Landing.

This job has given me the necessary time to finally finish school, something I've always regretted not doing. February 21st will be my last final!!! It's given me the resources (people, not just books) to be better in my church callings. I've taken necessary vacations to help family members, something that would not have happened with my last job. So many things in my life are better as a result of this job.

Realizing these things has caused me to feel some remorse because of the attitude I've had about my job sometimes. I feel bad for times when my attitude has caused others to not feel appreciated or a valuable part of my team and for that, I am sorry.

At the same time, realizing these things has been yet another reminder of how there is One who is in charge. He knows exactly what we need, even when we don't. He knew how badly I needed to make changes in my life and He knew that this job would provide me with opportunities to make those changes.

So, thank you to all of you who suffered through my worst and put up with me. Thanks to you who made me laugh - who still make me laugh. You have each blessed my life and continue to do so, just like this job.

Day Seventeen - The Temple

2010-10-26T21:00:00.003-06:00

This morning I got up early to attend the temple. It's my favorite time to be there. The session seems to be about the perfect size and the sunlight coming through the windows in the celestial room in the morning is one of the most amazing things I've seen. Plus, there's not a better way to start a day.

I was thinking this morning about the blessings that frequent temple attendance has brought into my life. Some crazy things have happened in the last 6 months and I'm sure more crazy things are headed my way. The temple has been my place of peace, my place of comfort, and my place for answers. It is there that I am reminded what is truly important.

So tonight I'm thankful for the temple.

Day Sixteen - Electricity

2010-10-25T20:17:00.003-06:00

This may seem like a silly thing to be thankful for. Of course I'm grateful for electricity. But here's why, today, I am thankful for it.

I didn't sleep last night. Not one bit. So at 2 am I decided I should just get up and work on my final paper that was due today. The wind was blowing like crazy and at 2:07 there was a very loud blast outside my house. It scared me to death and the power went out. I stayed in bed until 4, hoping the power would come back on, then got up and went into work.

Last night before bed I read President Monson's talk from this last conference. He told a story about a family who had used their savings to have electricity set up in their house. That year all of their crops died. For Thanksgiving dinner they had a rabbit and some turnips. No one was feeling very thankful. The dad turned off the lights and lit an oil lamp. The family was shocked that they were ever able to read by such a dim light. Suddenly they were filled with gratitude for what they had.

I do that. I don't realize just how blessed I am. Sometimes it takes turning off the lights for me to wake up. Sometimes it takes looking back at where I've been to realize just how far I've come.

Day Fifteen - My Mission

2010-10-24T18:01:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, while cleaning out my spare room, I found the box with all my mission stuff in it. I spent a very long time going through all of it, and, before going to bed last night, I read through my journal.

I absolutely loved my mission! I served with great companions and fantastic elders. We worked hard and, when appropriate, played hard as well. It was so long ago that we didn't have email, most of the places I lived in didn't even have telephones, and I think I saw one home with a computer in it my whole mission.

I survived all sorts of crazy insect invasions as well as some strange allergies and parasites. I knocked (or yelled at) a billion doors, taught hundreds of discussions, fell off my bike, got mugged - twice, learned Spanish, and watched several people enter into the waters of baptism. All of those things were an important part of me growing up.

But, more importantly, during that time I realized that we never walk alone. I developed a significant testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ and gained a love for Him that, to that point, I hadn't imagined possible. I saw prayers answered, both my own as well as the prayers of others. I experienced the cleansing power of the Atonement as I sought forgiveness. I gained the love and understanding of the scriptures that Seminary prepared me for.

I grew up. I realized that I was capable of so much more than I ever thought I was. My mission was indeed preparation for other events that would take place later in my life.

I am so thankful that I got to be a missionary!

Day Fourteen - Feeling Better

2010-10-23T19:35:00.002-06:00

Today I'm thankful to be feeling better. I seriously spent all of Thursday and Friday in my bed - practically every second. So, this morning, while I was still not feeling all that great, I got out of bed and set out to finish the last room I had to clean and organize.

It took a long time. There were boxes in that room that hadn't ever been unpacked in the two years I've been in this house. I fell down the stairs to the cellar with my arms full of boxes (glad that none of the neighbors saw that), but it was so good to be out of bed.

Also, when I went to the store, I noticed the beautiful roses blooming in front of my bedroom window. I should have taken a picture because I'm sure they will freeze tonight. I'm thankful for beautiful things.

Day Thirteen - Granola Bars

2010-10-22T21:04:00.003-06:00

A couple of weeks ago while I was in Bountiful at Dre's house, she had me try the homemade granola bars that she made. They were delicious!

We spent a lot of time trying to figure out the nutritional content and then thought of ways we could make them have less fat and calories but still taste good. So, a couple of days ago, before I got sick, I made a batch.

The link for the recipe is below. I used non fat sweetened and condensed milk and pressed them on to parchment paper on a very large cookie sheet, making 36 bars. I must say, they are totally delicious, and have made for some nice treats while I've been home sick.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easy-Granola-Bars/Detail.aspx

Day Twelve - Sick Days

2010-10-21T22:37:00.002-06:00

Today I spent the day in bed - the entire day - because I'm not feeling very well. So today I'm thankful for a mostly comfortable bed, netfilx, hulu, Emily - who covered my shift at work tonight, chicken noodle soup (the only thing missing was someone to make it for me), and cold medicine.

Day Eleven - Kleenex

2010-10-20T22:04:00.004-06:00

About half way through the day I started to get a sore throat. By the time I left work, even my eyeballs hurt. It seems like every time I get back on track with any sort of physical fitness activity, I come down with something.

So now, at 10 pm, I am very thankful for soft Kleenex and I'm thankful that I don't have to wake up to an alarm tomorrow.

Day Ten -

2010-10-19T20:42:00.005-06:00

I was just reading Sister Wixom's talk from the recent General Conference. She was talking about staying on the right path and leading our children back Home. She made this comment, speaking to children, "Take my hand. Hold on tight. We will stay on the path together back to our Heavenly Father."

When I read that, I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone earlier this year. We were talking about what we wanted out of life, the things we expected, and how we were going to get there. I made the comment that I just wanted someone to take my hand and walk with me and our children on the path back Home to our Father in Heaven. I was sure that along the way there would be course corrections we would have to make, but we would make them together and eventually make it back, together.

So tonight, I am thankful for the hope that at some point in my life, someone will say to me, "Take my hand. Hold on tight. We will stay on the path together back to our Heavenly Father."

Day Nine - One More Week

2010-10-18T20:53:00.005-06:00

Today I am thankful that I only have one more week left in my literature class.

I love to read. There have been many days in my life where I have done nothing but read. In fact, on a rainy day, I would love to stay home, listen to rain, sip hot chocolate, and read a good book while still in my pj's. But, this class, with it's 2500 page textbook, is killing me!

So tonight, after 4 hours of homework, I am thankful that each class is only 5 weeks long and that I just have one more of this one.

I have three classes to go: philosophy, physical science, and math. So, on February 21st, I will take my last final and for that I am incredibly thankful!

Day Eight - Family

2010-10-17T20:45:00.002-06:00

This picture of my family was taken in May of this year. It was the first time we had all been together in almost 8 years.

It's hard for me to describe how thankful I am for my family. Being the oldest, and the bossiest as some will remind me, it's been such a blessing watching everyone grow up. Most are raising families of their own, while all of us are working hard to figure out life, making sure we are on the right track, and helping each other when there is need for help.

Change is constant in our family. There will be more little members joining our family in the next little while, hopefully those who live far away will be moving back home, but that also might take Joe even farther away than he is now. I can't wait till we're all back together again. There is a strength in knowing your family is around you, even if you don't see them often.

(Oh, if your wondering where Josh is, he's there. Just look for the guy with the hoodie over his head.)

Day Seven - A Clean House

2010-10-16T21:03:00.003-06:00

Today I'm thankful for a clean house. I love a clean house! I love falling asleep knowing the house is clean and I love waking up in the morning and remembering that it's clean. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it's nice when things are put a way.

Well, today, I spent the whole day cleaning. I folded laundry that hadn't been folded in I don't know how long, I cleaned out cupboards, reorganized books and music, cleaned out a couple of closets, dusted, washed dishes (just like the pioneers), changed the sheets on the bed, vacuumed, and scrubbed. And at this very moment, every article of clothing I have is clean and put away. I still have one room to clean, really clean, but that will have to wait for another day.

I've noticed that the level of cleanliness in my home directly correlates to my emotional state of mind. I've also noticed that when I keep my house clean, in spite of my emotional state, I feel much better about life.

Day Six - Peace

2010-10-15T21:44:00.004-06:00

You know that feeling of peace you get when you're right in the middle of something big, hard, challenging, or whatever else it might be? Well, that's what I'm thankful for today.

I find it fascinating that in the midst of affliction, we can feel okay about things. We can feel the love of the Savior. And even when we don't know what the outcome will be, we know we will be alright, whatever happens.

What a blessing!

Day Five - One Crazy Day

2010-10-14T22:04:00.003-06:00

This will be short. I'm totally exhausted today. The house is a mess. In fact the groceries I bought this morning are still in bags on the kitchen floor, except for the stuff that needed to go into the refrigerator, of course.

Today I went to the temple, had a picnic and a fun hike with Jaime and the kids - even some extra kids, went grocery shopping, brought a couple of kids home with me for a sleep over, hung up some new curtains (even ironed them first), started the dishes (yes, they are still in water in the sink), had baths, put on a movie for the kids while I attempted some homework, gave up on the homework, played with the kids instead, popped popcorn, and now I've been told that it's bed time. Once the kids go to sleep, I have until midnight to read 150 pages and write two essays. It just might not happen tonight.

But, I'm thankful that the mess in my house was created by someone other than myself and that I'm ready for bed, not just because it's time, but because it's been such a busy day.

My time off of work ends on Sunday and at some point I have to get caught up. But today, I'm thankful for the chaos.

Day Four - Laughter

2010-10-13T20:19:00.006-06:00

I was in Bountiful the other night with Sean, Dre, and Haden. We walked outside about 7:30, just when it was starting to get dark. Apparently, Haden doesn't see the dark very often. He kept saying, "Oh My Cow!" over and over again because he couldn't believe how dark it was getting. Dre and I were laughing so hard, I think I had tears running down my cheeks.

She called me the next day at work to tell me of another "Oh My Cow" experience, prompting more laughter. When I told the guys at work, one of them suggested we start giving an "Oh My Cow" award. He said it could only be for the guys because the girls would not be happy to get that kind of award. He's probably right.

So, on day four, I'm thankful to be able to laugh. I don't do it nearly enough, especially lately, which is something I need to fix. I'm working on it!

Day Three - Isaac

2010-10-12T22:28:00.004-06:00

Today, there are many things that I could share for which I am thankful. But, narrowing it down to only one thing, I'm thankful for my nephew, Isaac.

We spent some time together today, putting together some bookcases. If you've never put anything together with the help of a three year old, you should. Especially a three year old who tells you what a great job you're doing and how shocked he is when it actually looks like a bookcase when you're finished.

The first one, with his help, took an hour. The second, all on my own took about 17 minutes. He was great at hammering things in and told me that because he was so much stronger, he should screw in the screws.

He couldn't wait to put the books in, and as soon as we did, and after we moved a rocking chair into that room, we had to have story time. There are few things that I enjoy as much a having a child on my lap, reading a story.

Isaac told me the other day that I was his "best Christy". He's my best Isaac, too.

(By the way, that picture was taken last summer. We were hiking up to the "Y". I don't think there's any way he could ride on my back like that now.)

Day Two - Long Walks

2010-10-11T16:52:00.003-06:00

Today I went for a walk up Provo Canyon. I love that walk!

I was thinking back a couple of years when I decided that specific things in my life needed to change and I started walking at night. I would walk really late, after it was dark, so that no one could see me. This was not the smartest choice, but I was embarrassed.

Those walks strengthened me physically, but also emotionally. For more than an hour every day, I had time with just me. During those walks I took specific inventory of my life. I realized several things about my life that needed to be changed. Somehow on those walks I found the courage to begin to make those changes.

So, two years later, I still love to walk. While I am and probably always will be an emotional eater, I know the choices I need to make to be healthy. Now, I can do that walk that used to take me an hour and twenty minutes in about 45. While this year has not been my finest as far as a consistent exercise pattern, hopefully I'm back on track.

Today, on day two, I'm thankful for long walks and I thankful that those walks continue to help me be better.

Live In Thanksgiving Daily

2010-10-10T16:30:00.005-06:00

Because of an incredible desire to feel better about life, I have spent much time the last couple of months reading conference talks. There have been many things that I've learned as I've taken copious notes. One of those things is that I need to be more thankful.

In Alma 34:38 we are reminded that we need to "live in thanksgiving daily". I stink at this. I spend too much time living in the past or worrying about the future. I complain too often and don't take time to realize how very blessed I am.

So, in an effort to attempt to "live in thanksgiving daily", I will post, each day, about something for which I am thankful.

Today, I am thankful for the opportunity to teach Gospel Doctrine in my ward. When I first got this calling, I was scared to death. Fortunately, it was during a Book of Mormon year, followed by a Church History year. While I was nervous beyond explanation, I had great friends who helped with incite and gave recommendations for resources. Fortunately, my job provided me with an outlet to obtain those resources.

However, from the time I was called, always in the back of my mind was the fact that 2010 would be an Old Testament year. I started to think of ways I could get released before that dreaded year. It didn't happen.

When 2010 began, and I was still teaching, I knew I had to figure out how to be released before I had to teach Isaiah. It didn't happen and today I taught my first Isaiah lesson. It was a sweet experience to read, study, and better understand about the Savior as a result of the words of Isaiah.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity that has forced me into the scriptures in a way I've not experienced before. I've have learned so much and have grown to love the scriptures in a way I haven't before.

Also, I'm thankful for the great members of my class. They teach me so much and are so patient with me while I learn.

Finally, a New Post...

2010-07-20T19:20:00.003-06:00

Someone reminded me that I haven't posted anything this entire year. It's true. In fact, when I got on today, I'd almost forgotten how to post.

This has been an interesting year for me. Towards the beginning of the year, I met and fell in love with this amazing man. There were countless things that I loved about him and I was confident that the direction we were headed was absolutely the right thing. But, recently, things ended.

This caught me off guard and totally unprepared. I was left with a lot of questions and obvious heartbreak. I have really good days and incredibly hard days - sometimes both at the same time.

That being said, I would do it again, even knowing what the outcome would be. I learned a lot and am a better person having experienced what I did. I'm feeling a little lost but am confident that everything will be okay.

I want nothing but the best for him.

2009-12-27T08:26:00.008-07:00

I had some time this morning after finishing up preparation for my lesson today. So, I took a few minutes to read through some posts I had written at the beginning of 2009.

There was a reason for this. I woke up this morning experiencing some of the same feelings of loneliness and rejection that I felt at the beginning of this year, something that almost made me mad. "If 2010 was going to be anything like 2009", I thought, "I don't want to do it!"

Reading through earlier posts made me realize a few things. I've had some hard things happen this year, but I survived. I learned some important lessons, experienced things, both good and bad, that I wasn't anticipating, and had to rely even more on a Father who loves me.

Isn't that why we're here? We go through life, experiencing both good and bad, hopefully learning to rely more heavily on a loving Father, and making the necessary changes so that we can make it back home.

I don't like the hard stuff. I'm not good at it. I grumble and complain. Sometimes I even throw a tantrum. But, hopefully, I emerge better than I was. Hopefully, I grow up. Hopefully, I'm just a little closer to the One whose presence I am wanting to be welcomed into.

Hopefully.

Swimming

2009-11-05T19:51:00.004-07:00

A while ago, my sister, Dre, thought it would be fun if Jaime and I joined her in a triathlon sprint next May. So, we bought gym passes and, this week, started our workout. Today was the first day swimming.

In preparation, I, who haven't worn a swimming suit in just about 20 years (not an exaggeration), picked out a swimming suit, we all bought goggles and a swim cap, and Dre visited youtube to get quick instruction on how exactly one swims.

We met at the gym at 6 am. The three of us were dressed in our black suits, very tight swimming caps, and sweet goggles. We were ready!

The pool only has three lanes and two of them were already occupied. So, we tried to talk ourselves out swimming. We even jumped in the hot tub for a few minutes. Then we jumped in the pool - all three of us in one lane.

Dre, aka Michael Phelps, started reenacting what she learned on youtube. I was not a very good student and I think we all thought it would be easier than it was.

We spent the next 30 minutes kicking, swallowing water, entertaining the other two people in the pool, and doing a lot of laughing. We discovered that Jaime can do a mean back stroke, Dre can almost swim as well as Michael Phelps (just a little more practice), and it doesn't matter how hard and fast I kick my feet, sometimes I just won't move.

Can't wait until next time...

Summer of 2009

2009-09-27T19:15:00.007-06:00

The other day I was taking a walk up Provo Canyon. I couldn't believe how quickly the leaves were changing and how fall-like it was feeling. Honestly, was summer really over?

While I was walking, I thought about all the different things that happened this summer. I don't remember that I really took a vacation, but I was able to go for a weekend to Fish Lake with my family, something we hadn't done in years. I'd forgotten how much I love it there. I was reminded of great fishing adventures with Grandpa and all of us staying in my grandparents trailer, not to mention the visits to Chappel Cheese in Loa (which, unfortunately, is now closed.)

This summer I was able to get in a few good hikes. I took three of my sister's kids up to the "Y". They were troopers and we had fun hiking up. Audrey was "impressed that we made it clear to the top" and then sorry she'd ever come on the hike as we were headed down. I will admit, up was more fun for me too!

At our store manager's conference I hiked Angel's Landing down in Zion's Park. It was amazing - scary, but amazing. The experience was fantastic. I felt a little pride at knowing that at this point last year I may not have been able to do that hike.

At that same conference I also rode an ATV for the first time. I loved it!!!

The summer was also good because my friend was in town. We saw a few movies, some better than others, spent some time in beautiful areas of Salt Lake that I hadn't seen before, took a drive up to Logan, went to a concert, and had some great walks.

I started P90X this summer. It was hard work for me. Some mornings I got up at 4 am to get the workout finished before I had to be at work. I will admit that there have been a couple of days when it just didn't get done, but overall I have been incredibly consistent. I only have 5 more weeks to go, I haven't lost one pound, but I have gained muscle, lost fat, and feel fantastic.

This was a good summer!!!

2009-08-01T22:11:00.011-06:00

One of my favorite things to do is visit places I've never been before. I don't know if I can explain just how much I enjoy it. I feel giddy with excitement, really can't quit smiling and I love taking it all in.

This afternoon was one of those experiences. While I lived in Salt Lake County most of my life, I visited places today that I had never seen before or if I had, I didn't remember.

We started out on a drive through the avenues of Salt Lake. It was so beautiful. I loved the old houses and the big trees that lined the streets.

Then we went to the cemetery in Salt Lake where so many prominent figures in our state's history are buried. It was exciting to go from headstone to headstone. When we saw Willard Richards' my heart was touched and I will admit feeling a little choked up.

As we continued to walk I discovered a whole bunch of Keddington names. I felt like a little kid, going from spot to spot, trying to find the oldest Keddington. I couldn't wait to get home and see if I was related to any of them. It just so happens that John Tipple and Elizabeth Ellis are my great, great, great, great grandparents.

The adventure finished with some more driving though various parts of the city I hadn't been to in ages. I loved all of it. It helped that the person I was with knew so much about the places we saw. That made the experience even more enjoyable.

2009-07-31T10:03:00.002-06:00

I hate earwigs! I really believe they are Satan.

I live in an older home and so it has not been unusual to see a few spiders and bugs crawling around. I usually squish them in tissue and flush them down the toilet. However, earwigs are different. They just don't seem to die.

This morning, while taking a shower, I had a brief encounter with a couple of them that has seriously made me reconsider the use of body wash. The experience was not pleasant and they did not live!

New Car - Part Two

2009-07-19T18:52:00.009-06:00

Early yesterday morning, after a night of not much sleep, I woke up and remembered I had purchased a new car the night before! While the previous day had been long, hot, and frustrating, there was a cute, silver, Ford Focus parked in my driveway. The adventure had been worth it!

My family had tickets to go to the Oquirrh Temple open house. I decided to meet them all in Mapleton, giving me a chance to drive the new car, and show my family.

We left at noon, right on time, and headed to the temple. About the time we hit the Provo Towne Center my sister said that it looked like my hood was going to pop open. I pulled off to the side of the road, pushed on it, and it seemed fine. We started on our way.

By the time we'd gotten to Center Street in Orem, the hood was jumping up and down. I got off the freeway, popped the hood, and looked inside. The contraption that holds the latch down had come unscrewed. Unfortunately I had tools in my old car, but not in this one. I tightened the screws with my fingers and headed to my house.

Lest anyone think that I was calm during this, you are wrong. I was far from it. I had an experience when I was in college where the hood popped up while I was driving. While it caused minimal damage (we were only going 30 MPH), it was incredibly scary. The idea that this would happen while I was on the freeway with a car full of people was almost panicy to me.

When I got home, I grabbed some tools and tried to tighten the screws. They were in a very precarious spot and I knew I couldn't tighten them all the way. I did my best, called my parents to let them know we were once again on our way, and started off, again.

Rather than going to the temple open house, we (all 8 of us in our church clothes) headed back to the dealership. One of the salesman from the night before recognized me and came right over. He asked if I was back to sign some papers and I told him the situation.

He came out with a wrench and did exactly what I had done. He asked questions like, "Are you sure you didn't accidently pull the hood release while you were dirving down the freeway?", or "Shouldn't you have had your husband tighten it for you?". I wanted to say, "Why yes, I did actually pull the hood release while I was driving 70 MPH down the feeway. I've always wanted to know what would happen if I did that". A friend suggested that my response to the husband comment should have been that I would have had him tighten the screws, but he doesn't have any hands.

By this point, my temper had risen almost to the same level as my anxiety. I somewhat calmly pointed out to the salesman that I had had the car less than 12 hours, it only had 7000 miles on it and already something was wrong. He pointed out that it was still under warranty and told me that if I took it to a Ford dealership they would be happy to fix it.

I told him I didn't want it fixed. I didn't want the car and wanted to know what my options were. He said I would have to speak to the manger and left to go inside. I mistakenly assumed that a manager would be out to speak with me. However, 15 minutes later, he came back out, alone.

He politely told me that his manager was "too busy" and all they could do was fix the car. "Too busy", I asked. "You've got to be kidding me!"

He responded by saying that it was, after all, a Saturday and they were busy with customers. I tried to calmly remind him that I was a customer, one who had spent several hours and plenty of money with them the night before.

My dad and I followed him into the smelly locker room where the very busy managers were sitting on their behinds doing absolutly NOTHING. Imagine how happy this made me. Their actions confirmed that I was of no importance to them. Once again I asked what my options were and was told the same thing - I was out of luck and my only option was to take it somewhere else and have it fixed. They basically washed their hands of me. I was not their problem.

I took the car across the street and had it fixed. Any excitement I'd felt about a new car was gone. I know it's not a big deal to any of them, but I will NEVER purchase another car from the Larry H. Miller Used Car Supermarket or even consider purchasing one from Riverton Chevrolet. Because of this experience, a friend who had planned to purchase a car this week from that same lot will go elsewhere.

Had anyone validated how I was feeling by saying that they understood how frustrating this was for me or that they were sorry this had happened, maybe I would feel differently now. But no one did. Not even once.

New Car - Part One

2009-07-18T07:50:00.011-06:00

I bought a new car yesterday. It was easily the craziest car-buying adventure I've ever had.

A friend and I started out at 2 in the afternoon. Our first stop was a small Ford dealership. My friend kindly explained to a very pushy man named Bradley, that we were just looking, really didn't want help, and we would find him if we had any questions. He would not go away. So, we quickly looked at a couple of options and left to go look elsewhere.

We stopped at a place where there were several dealerships. During the hottest part of the day, we wandered around for a couple of hours, telling salesmen in several lots that we were just looking, hoping to be left alone.

After a very hot afternoon and some good sunburns, the choices had been narrowed down to 2. We got some much needed drinks and headed back to do some test driving. We went to the first place (yes, back to Bradly) and took a drive. The car was fun to drive, but Bradley's conversation about his love life, his pleading with us to give him a good review (he was new, after all, and it would really help him out), and the three times he told us he wasn't there to ram a tailpipe down our throats made the car not so appealing.

At the second spot we were helped by a man we shall call "Mike". Since we had already been here and had asked questions, we knew what we wanted. Earlier in the day we saw a sign in front of this dealership advertising a great deal on a specific vehicle. We'd asked why it was so good and they explained that it had been a dealer demo and had around 6ooo miles on it.

We told this to Mike, he confirmed what we'd been told earlier, and we took the car for a ride. I loved it!!! It was quiet, powerful, comfortable, fun, and in my price range. I was giddy with excitement!

We left for a couple of hours and then came back to buy the car. It would be impossible to describe my level of excitement.

Mike was thrilled that we were back, sat us down at the table, and began the process. Since I had already been pre-approved through my credit union, there was little we had to do. Mike made a phone call to the secret mafia man that all car dealers have, said "uh-huh" and "right" a bunch of times, hung up the phone, and then proceeded to tell us that the only way I could get that price on the car was if I owned a Nissan or an Infinity. Really?

I was so annoyed. Not once during the three times we had been there had anyone said that. He left to pull some numbers, I sat there and stewed for a few minutes, and we decided to leave.

Mike was standing at the front of the building, right by the entrance. We told him we were going to look around for something else, walked outside, and jumped in the car. He, of course, was watching, ran out after us, and we tore out of the parking lot!

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. Plus, I was angry. We parked the car down the road and started walking though car lots once again. I drove another car, just around the block, however, because the windshield wipers broke in half when I turned them on. At this point it was about 8:45 and I was tired and frustrated.

Then we saw it, well actually my friend did. It was a silver 2009 Ford Focus, leather interior, moon roof, and a 6 CD changer. I took it for a test drive and I really liked it. They managed to get the price down where I wanted it to be, and told me it would just be a few minutes. By then, it was about 9:15.

They put us in a room that was terribly hot and smelled like a locker room. I sat there for an hour, while they kept coming back every few minutes to tell me it should only be a few more minutes. I was tired, really needed a shower, and just wanted to go home.

We finally told them we were leaving and would be back in the morning. This was about 10:30. Of course they did everything they could to get us to stay. They offered an entertainment package if we would stay for just 10 more minutes. After 10 minutes, we were ready to leave. At that point, two salesmen were crossing paths, trying to see what they could do to get things to happen. It was actually somewhat comical. Neither one of them knew that the other was trying to do the exact same thing. One of the options was to push us a head of a couple with a two year old. We declined.

Finally, they magically had paperwork for me to sign and I got in the car and drove away. While driving home, the gas light came on. No one had bothered to put gas in the car. There were drink stains on the console, and the dealership floor mats were still in the car, with the actual mats in the trunk, indicating that no one had cleaned or vacuumed it.

"Oh well", I thought. "At least I had a nice, new car."

Boy, did I get a surprise this morning...

For Good

2009-07-07T21:52:00.004-06:00

Today I attended a funeral of a woman I have known since I was very young. Since I heard of her passing, my thoughts have been full of all sorts of memories. She lived across the street from us and I spent a lot of time at her home while I was growing up. I remember her telling me how much she loved cream cheese. When I was getting ready this morning and putting hot rollers in my hair, I remembered that she used to do that. I remember her taking us to Riverton to visit her parents and younger sisters. When I was old enough I would tend her kids.

But, the thing I remember most is that she would do anything for anyone. She loved like the Savior loved. She had a great laugh and seemed to always be smiling.

She made a difference in my life and I'm sure she never knew that. I feel some regret for that, realizing now that I will never be able to tell her.

There are countless people in my life who have influenced me for good. Most don't know it. I need to fix that.

Weak Things Become Strong

2009-07-05T13:13:00.004-06:00

For the last couple of weeks I've been made aware of things about me that I need to change - things that are holding me back, keeping me from progressing. While the thought could potentially be overwhelming, it has been welcome and encouraging after the last few months.

There's no need to list all of them here (although, some may have thought of weaknesses I have that I haven't even considered. Feel free to speak up!), but I'm anxious for the arduous process that lies ahead as I work on the long list.

Just this morning, an incredible weakness I have caused me to hurt someone. I was quick to pass judgment and was even accusing, all because of my own insecurities. For that, I am very sorry.

I appreciate those who put up with me in spite of my weaknesses, those who can see that there is more to me than that, and those who have hope that at some point those things will become strengths. Thanks for sticking by me, for understanding, and for forgiving.

Never Been Done Before...

2009-06-28T20:02:00.013-06:00

...okay, at least by me. Would you believe that until this last Thursday I was perhaps the only person in America who didn't react to the phrase, "I want my two dollars."? It's true. I had never seen Better off Dead!

I went to rent it on Thursday afternoon and the the two guys at the video store (is it still a video store since now they carry DVD's, not videos?) were so excited they could hardly stand it. They were quoting lines from the movie, saying that it was the best movie ever, and I half expected them to show up at my house to watch it. I will admit, other that a couple of weird, animated parts, the move made me laugh out loud and I've found myself the last few days smiling when remembering certain parts of the movie.

Another thing I'd never done until this week, was golf. I won't repeat details since it's mentioned in the post below. My 6 year old nephew didn't believe I'd actually done it. He actually said, "no way" when I showed him where I'd golfed. A friend had to verify that it actually happened before my nephew would believe me.

On Saturday, I hiked up to Doughnut Falls, another thing I'd never done before. The canyon was so beautiful and while the area was crowded, we had a good time throwing rocks, squashing ants, and walking through the mud. I even ran into my last mission companion on the trail. It was so good to see her and then to later chat on Facebook and do some catching up. It brought back lots of memories.

The last picture is not really a picture of something I've never done before. But my two year old nephew, Isaac, is so dang cute that I couldn't resist posting it. Friday evening three of my sisters and I set out to hike up to the "Y" or the "YU" as Isaac calls it.

These last few weeks, recovering from surgery, have not been what I'd expected. I wasn't prepared for the total exhaustion or the emotional reaction that I've had to this. I've spent a few weeks not really sure about things. It's amazing how therapeutic these last few days have been for me. Thanks, everyone!

Golfing

2009-06-24T17:12:00.006-06:00

Last night I did something I'd never done before. I went golfing. I guess maybe I can't say that I went golfing. I just went to the driving range and shared a bucket of balls with a friend. Here are the things I learned:

I am an impressive golfer (only somewhat more impressive than the four year old who was golfing just down from me).
Hitting the ball with all of your strength doesn't make go further. In some cases (okay, a lot of cases) it doesn't make it go at all.
It is actually possible to almost hit yourself in the face with a golf ball.
The shorter you are, the shorter your club should be. Mine wasn't nearly short enough.
Laughing at yourself is a good thing.
Someone else laughing at you is also a good thing.

There were a couple of times when I thought I actually hit the ball pretty far. Then I happened to look over at the couple golfing next to us and saw how incredibly far he hit the ball.

If you look closely at the impressive action shot you will see a ball about three feet in front of me. Yes, I actually hit it there. And I hit it hard.

What Makes Me Smile...

2009-06-09T21:22:00.009-06:00

Tonight I was reminded of an experience I had when I was 8 years old. I wrote a song for our school's reflection contest. The theme that year was "What Makes Me Smile".

Summer flowers, Spring trees, Humming birds and Bumblebees,

Autumn leaves, Falling snow, Summer breeze that softly blows,

Mother's kisses, Daddy's hugs, Babies laughter, Brother's love,

Mountains pretty, Skies so blue, These things make me smile. Don't they you?

All of those things that made me smile when I was 8, still make me smile today, but I forget, a lot, just how many things there are. This has been especially true the last few weeks.

Being sick when you're single is not fun, but recovering from surgery while living alone has been more difficult for me than I could have imagined. At times the loneliness was consuming and, I think, somewhat hindered my ability to heal. I've had sleepovers with the kids, family over for dinner, attended church, ran errands, and went to work all before I should have because I didn't want to be alone. These things did not speed up my recovery. But I couldn't sit in an empty house for one more second.

The fact is, I'm not alone. I'm surrounded by people who love and care about me. There are so many things in my life that make me smile. I am blessed in more ways than I can count.

Recovery

2009-05-21T11:43:00.003-06:00

Having never had surgery before, I had no idea what to expect from the recovery process. These are some misconceptions I had:

Feeling great when leaving the hospital ensures a quick recovery. Just because you felt great when you left the hospital, doesn't mean you will feel great by the time you drive the 4 minutes to your house.
40 pain pills will keep you pain free. Pain medication does not eliminate pain. I don't even really think it dulls it. It just makes you so out of it that you don't really care that you're in pain.
A good night's sleep in the hospital is an indication of many good nights ahead. This is certainly not true. Who knew it would be more comfortable to sleep in a hospital bed after surgery than in my own?
When you wake up two days after surgery, feeling pretty good, it's okay to go into work. It's amazing how tiring driving in a car can be. Then, walking 15 steps into my office just about wiped me out.

Overall, though, it really hasn't been that bad. I've realized just how much I use my stomach muscles to do things like sweeping the floor or doing the laundry. Coughing and sneezing just about kill me over and sleep has been a challenge, especially at night, but I feel more rested than I have in months. I have such great friends and family members who have brought me meals and treats and beautiful flowers as well as spending some time keeping me company. My sweet mom spent two days she really didn't have with me, making sure I was ok.

I'm pretty lucky!

My First Surgery

2009-05-19T13:36:00.005-06:00

I have only ever been in the hospital twice (ok, three times if you count when I was born). The first time was right before my mission when my kidney's failed. I spent 5 days at the University of Utah medical center. The second time was yesterday.

For two years I have had an occasional intense pain in my abdomen. It would last for a couple of hours and was accompanied by a whole lot of throwing up. I had three tests to see if the pain was my gallbladder, but everything came back negative.

A little over a week ago it started to get pretty bad. The vomiting and the pain would last all night, so I went to the doctor again. This time she told me to see a specialist and scheduled an appointment for the 27th of July. Well, at 4:00 yesterday morning, after a whole night of pain and puking, I drove myself to the emergency room. They gave me something for pain and did another ultra sound which showed that my gallbladder was full of stones. About 3 pm I went in for surgery.

The hospital stay was pretty uneventful except for the 15 minutes right before surgery. The man who came to take me to the OR crashed into the wall at least 22 times on the way down. He kept saying that the bed was broken, but it was most definitely his driving. In the process, he disconnected my IV which had to then be removed and put in my other arm.

Then they discovered no one had done a pregnancy test and no amount of talk on my part that it was an absolute impossibility for me to be pregnant, would convince them. So, once that was taken care of the nurse noticed while we were standing in the hall that I still had my pj's on. She told me they had to come off. "Right here in the hall?", I questioned. She thought twice and decided the bottoms could be removed in a more private place. Then she asked me when the last time was that I emptied my bladder. This was the same nurse who had just escorted me to the bathroom for the urine sample that they needed for the pregnancy test.

I finally got into the operating room, got on the bed, and went right to sleep. I woke up to two nurses holding me down, telling me to calm down because I had just come out of surgery. I'm not sure what I was doing, but I went back to sleep and woke up later in my room.

I did not react well to the anesthesia and ended up having to spend the night. When the anesthesia wore off about 1 am I felt so great. I slept better than I had in weeks and was more than ready to go when they discharged me this morning. I don't have to be back to work until next Wednesday, and other than the getting in and out of bed, I feel great!

2009-05-17T20:54:00.003-06:00

I know it's been along time since I've posted. It's not because I have nothing to share. Really, it's been an eventful few weeks full of traveling, homework, fun, family, and work. But tonight I want to share some things I've been thinking about the last couple of days.

This weekend was our stake conference. There were several themes throughout the meetings, but there was really one that especially struck me. We will all go through hard things. It's how life works. We don't get to choose what those hard things will be and they are usually things we would not expect. However, if we are true to our covenants, follow the words of our living prophet, and do all we are asked, we will be armed with whatever tools are necessary to make it through.

The process seems simple when it's listed out like that or when it's prefaced by "all we need to do is...". For me, the necessity of doing all those things has, at times, created some hard things. I've felt overwhelmed by all I should be doing, but am not, and for me, that causes action in the wrong direction.

But, the last couple days, as I've thought about this message, I felt a renewed desire to change things, a lot of things. And rather than be overwhelmed by all there is to change, for whatever reason, my soul is filled with confidence. Maybe I'm finally growing up!

A Day with the Girls

2009-04-09T21:51:00.008-06:00

My niece, Audrey, is visiting from Arizona and she spent the night at my house last night. I had to run an errand in Salt Lake this afternoon, and she wanted to visit Temple Square. She also wanted to stop and see her two other cousins.

So, after a long conference call at work, we left, picked up the other two girls, and headed Downtown. We walked through Temple Square, visited the Church museum, and went out to dinner.

The girls had a good time together. Since Audrey lives so far away the three of them don't see each other very often, and Audrey absolutely adores Kandace and K'Lynn. K'Lynn called and asked if she could spend the night. You should have seen the look on her face. I asked her if she was a little excited. She said, "No, I am WAAAYYY excited".

(For the record, I did do Audrey's hair this morning.)

A few days in California

2009-03-27T20:41:00.004-06:00

This week I spent some time in Yosemite National Park. We had a leadership conference there and it was so beautiful. Here are just a few pictures.

A Little Embarrassed

2009-03-06T20:37:00.003-07:00

Yesterday Haden and I got to hang out for part of the day. He was in his chair and I was attempting to feed him baby food, which he really hates, when someone knocked on the door.

I answered it and it was a man from a mortuary. He explained that he was going door to door in the area, setting up appointments to review with couples their plans for the future. He asked if he could come back when my husband was home.

I don't know why that bugs me so much when people ask if they can come back when my husband is home, but it does. I was annoyed that he would assume that I would have one. I thought of all the things I would have help taking care of - small things like removing a snake from the bedroom floor, shoveling the driveway, taking the car to get fixed, or doing the taxes.

I politely told him that I didn't have a husband and that I really wasn't interested. He was embarrassed, I could tell, and I shut the door, still annoyed at the husband comment. Then I realized I was holding a baby and a jar of baby food. That's why he assumed I had a husband. And I was embarrassed.

One Good Day

2009-02-27T22:31:00.002-07:00

I had such a good day today! While I didn't do one thing I'd intended to do, the things I did do where much needed things.

About 10:15 this morning I went over to my parents house. Dre and I were going to do a little shopping for some new shoes for me. I hate to shop! That is no secret. I like to get in, find what I need, and get out. So, it's always better to take her with me. In addition to finding some great shoes, we some some badly needed tops in smaller sizes than those I currently own :).

After that we went to lunch. Haden charmed everyone in the restaurant. He's getting so big and has such a fun personality. He had people falling all over him.

When we got home, we went on a walk/run. I appreciate that she went slower for me. I wish she lived closer so I could do that more often. It would be nice to have someone to go with.

Then we decided to hit a movie - just the girls. We went to see Twilight. Good thing it was in the dollar theater because I would have been mad if regular priced tickets would have been purchased for such an awful movie. We sat on the front row, yes the very front row, and laughed and mocked and shook our heads in disbelief throughout the whole movie.

While I'm now further behind on homework, still have a lesson to finish up for Sunday, and all that other fun stuff to do that normally gets done on my day off, I really needed today.

Honesty - Part II

2009-02-24T17:47:00.003-07:00

I suppose I need to clarify some things about the post I did on Sunday about honesty. First of all, I didn't say everything I should have in that short post. Honesty is not the most important characteristic in a future spouse. There are many things I could list. I was having a casual conversation with a man I didn't know and didn't feel it necessary to give him a complete list. Honesty, I thought, was a safe topic, and the intent of my post was to share my amazement at what he considered to be honest or dishonest.

I know it's unrealistic and impractical to expect perfection. We all make mistakes. I'm especially good at them. Part of the reason we're here is to learn and grow and make it back home. But, is it wrong of me to hope that my future spouse would be honest and upfront with me? And, when he's not, that he apologize and we move on?

All I want is a good man, who tries hard to do the best that he can. When he slips and falls, he gets back up, shakes himself off, and continues down the path. Because that's what I try to do.

2009-02-23T23:08:00.003-07:00

I was reading the blog tonight of a couple with whom I attended high school. They found out right before the birth of their last child that she had a brain tumor. She delivered the baby early and they proceeded to see what they could do. Today the got word that nothing was really helping. He spent the day consoling his wife as she made mention of the fact that she didn't think she was ready to die.

I moan and groan about my life all the time. Things are too hard or not fun. Someone hurt my feelings. It's hard to be single. Work is a burden. Life's hard. But really, I have it pretty easy. I'm not in a position where I'm trying to figure out what to do without my spouse, or wondering who will take care of my young family when I'm not there to do it anymore.

I wonder a lot why some people have to go through such hard things and others don't really seem to. I know it's all part of Heavenly Father's plan. It's all part of the process that leads us closer to Him so that we can ultimately make it back. I don't like to watch people I care about go through hard things. I suppose, though, that neither did our Father in Heaven as He watched the suffering of His Son. But He did it. He did it so we'd have a way back home to Him. For His sacrifice, I'm grateful.

Honesty

2009-02-22T18:01:00.003-07:00

I was talking to a man last night who asked me what I was looking for in a companion. Without hesitation I told him that he had to be honest - completely honest - with me. He said it sounded like I'd had a little experience with this and he asked for some examples. I gave him some big ones - like seriously dating a guy who failed to mention that he was engaged to someone else, but then I also told him that it makes me crazy when people don't do what they say they will. He questioned whether or not that really had to do with honesty.

Seriously? Are you kidding me? It has everything to do with honesty! I was reading an Orson Scott Card article this afternoon which validated my point. The little things have everything to do with honesty.

The article also made me realize that if he's not doing the things he said he'd do, it's because he really doesn't care. Another important thing to be honest about.

Struggling with Juggling

2009-02-18T20:18:00.005-07:00

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. I feel like my plate is pretty full and I've found myself having a hard time juggling everything.

As I mentioned before, I went back to school. My first class is halfway through, which is a good thing, because the topic is not one I enjoy, making it harder to study. Since each class is only 5 weeks, it's pretty intense with a lot of reading and a whole bunch of writing. There is something due nearly every night.

In addition to school, one of my callings in my ward is to teach gospel doctrine. I love it, but it scares me to death every time I have to teach. Because of this, I probably over prepare and spend an incredible amount of time studying each week. The study is great. I've learned so much and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Also, last night the Bishop's wife called and asked if I would be on the enrichment committee for March. I think I actually hesitated, which I don't recall ever doing before, as everything I have going on raced through my mind. I told her, though, that I would be happy to do whatever she needed me to do.

Work is always there, adding to my balancing act, as well as a better attempt at a social life (it's true that I actually had a date last week). I've found myself spending time with great people and really enjoying myself. It's good, really good, but puts one more thing on my plate.

I'm not complaining. Really. I asked for more to do. More to consume my suddenly open schedule. I'm sure in a week or so, things will settle down. Actually, I'm kind of hoping they don't. It's good to be busy!